As many of you know, I am a teacher. I love my job, and I mean it, I LOVE my job! I seriously cannot think of any better way to spend a day than with 23 students who are so awesome. I teach 5th grade and am doing this for the second year in a row. It is the first time I have taught the same grade two years in a row and it rocks. My kids are absolutely amazing. I am constantly learning from them. They are so honest. Therefore, it is a privilege to be accepted into their lives - humbling actually.
So, this year, I am faced with some things I never thought about encountering. I have some students that come from homes that I cannot fathom. When they step into my room, I can see the hurt in their eyes and can feel their desire for love. And, every day I ask God, "What is my role in this child's life?" Because, honestly, I know that I need to be more than a teacher. Maybe I need to be a listener. Maybe I need to be a disciplinarian. Maybe I need to be the person that shows these kids that someone does love them and care about them. Maybe my classroom is the only safe place that they have. Maybe school is the most positive environment that these kids will ever know.
I came home today with a heavy heart for my kids. Am I doing what God has planned for me each day? Am I showing these kids the love of Jesus? Am I teaching my kids to be compassionate and understanding of kids who don't come from a home that "has it all together"?
So, I pray. Lord Jesus, help me to love these kids while I have them. Open my eyes to what each student needs. Make it clear to me, the chances that you are giving me to impact the lives of each child. Lord, help me to provide a place where each person is valued as a human being. And Jesus, remind me constantly that these kids are a blessing (no matter how the day goes). Amen
Thursday, September 25, 2008
Saturday, September 13, 2008
football with a friend
Today was a good day. I got up, ate some Cocoa Dinobites, worked out, took a nap, and hung out with a good friend.
Over the last few years AJ and I have become pretty great friends. We both love sports and that is so nice to have a friend to share that with. We spent the day together watching college football and it was great. The other thing I love about my friendship with AJ is that I can completely be myself. We share our lives with each other and always talk about how God is working in our lives. It is a great encouragement.
So, why am I posting this . . . God is so good. This girl, AJ, is someone I have known since highschool. She played bball for a rival team. And, I really didn't like her in highschool. But, isn't it just like God to take two changed people and place them in one another's lives at a totally different point down the road and connect them. It is awesome to have a friend that I can share my heart with or sit around and laugh with.
So, thank you God for an amazing friend and for opening my eyes to a changed person. You are wonderful!
Over the last few years AJ and I have become pretty great friends. We both love sports and that is so nice to have a friend to share that with. We spent the day together watching college football and it was great. The other thing I love about my friendship with AJ is that I can completely be myself. We share our lives with each other and always talk about how God is working in our lives. It is a great encouragement.
So, why am I posting this . . . God is so good. This girl, AJ, is someone I have known since highschool. She played bball for a rival team. And, I really didn't like her in highschool. But, isn't it just like God to take two changed people and place them in one another's lives at a totally different point down the road and connect them. It is awesome to have a friend that I can share my heart with or sit around and laugh with.
So, thank you God for an amazing friend and for opening my eyes to a changed person. You are wonderful!
Saturday, September 06, 2008
Moving on
So many changes have come my way recently. Some are big and some are small, but it is reminding me that God does not want me to get comfortable. I know I disappeared from the blog world this summer, but it was good. Actually I didn't spend much time online at all and it was nice - not to have this and myspace and email and facebook to worry about. But, more on that later. Like I said earlier, lots of changes.
1. I moved! My roomie sold her house, so I had to move. I know it was a huge blessing for the house to sell, but I am a little sad. Sad that I will be leaving the bond that Jenn and I had. The past 2.5 years as her roomie have been a true blessing. God totally knew that I needed to be there. Jenn was the best roomie I have had (and I have had some great roomies). I will miss knocking on her door every morning of the work week to say "bye, love you, have a good day". I will miss our unexpected roomie nights. I will miss hearing her laugh at the simple things. I will miss finding her asleep on the couch for an after-work nap. I will miss her jogs in the living room. Most of all, i will miss her company. I know we will see each other, but it won't be the same. The move has not completely registered with me. I am living with some friends of mine for a few months and then planning to buy a house in Syracuse.
2. No more middle school bball coaching! This is a shocker to most of the people who know me. I have coached for 5 years and have felt a call to move on for a time. For some reason my heart was not in it last season. I love bball, I love coaching, and I love the interaction I have with the girls. BUT, something was missing last season. I have always promised myself, in working with kids, that I will take a break when my heart isn't in something. I don't know if/when I will coach again, but I know that God has a plan.
3. School is back! This makes me so happy. I LOVE MY JOB! I am blessed to be in a profession that I love, that God has molded me for, and that I look forward to every day. This is the first year that I have taught the same grade as I did the previous year. It is strange, but it is a good strange. My new group of kids is fun and we are beginning to get settled in and develop a comfort with one another.
4. I have a computer again! I know this may seem odd, but I have missed (at times) not having a computer. The people I am living with had an extra laptop and they have wireless, so they hooked me up. Hopefully I will have my own computer in the next month or two. It is good be in touch with people again.
5. (this is probably the biggest one for me) 5 of my girls are in college! Many of you know that I led a girls' Bible study the past 5.5 years. Well, of my 7 girls, 5 left for college a few weeks ago. We had one last hurrah this summer and went to Chicago for the weekend (and saw Wicked). I have spent countless hours with these girls over the last 5 years and it has come to an end. God blessed my life so much through each one of these girls. What a blessing to be a part of each of their lives, watch them grow up, see them develop in their relationship with Jesus, and become young women.
6. A call to ministry! The Lord has placed a burden on my heart for jr/sr high girls ministry. What does this mean for me? I have no idea. But I have been praying that God will lead me, provide opportunities to minister, and help me to reach out to these girls. It is sure to be an exciting journey.
So, lots of moves happening in my life. It is so good. I'm grateful that I serve a God that allows me to be uncomfortable. It is my prayer that HE will lead me and direct my every step as I head into the next season of life.
1. I moved! My roomie sold her house, so I had to move. I know it was a huge blessing for the house to sell, but I am a little sad. Sad that I will be leaving the bond that Jenn and I had. The past 2.5 years as her roomie have been a true blessing. God totally knew that I needed to be there. Jenn was the best roomie I have had (and I have had some great roomies). I will miss knocking on her door every morning of the work week to say "bye, love you, have a good day". I will miss our unexpected roomie nights. I will miss hearing her laugh at the simple things. I will miss finding her asleep on the couch for an after-work nap. I will miss her jogs in the living room. Most of all, i will miss her company. I know we will see each other, but it won't be the same. The move has not completely registered with me. I am living with some friends of mine for a few months and then planning to buy a house in Syracuse.
2. No more middle school bball coaching! This is a shocker to most of the people who know me. I have coached for 5 years and have felt a call to move on for a time. For some reason my heart was not in it last season. I love bball, I love coaching, and I love the interaction I have with the girls. BUT, something was missing last season. I have always promised myself, in working with kids, that I will take a break when my heart isn't in something. I don't know if/when I will coach again, but I know that God has a plan.
3. School is back! This makes me so happy. I LOVE MY JOB! I am blessed to be in a profession that I love, that God has molded me for, and that I look forward to every day. This is the first year that I have taught the same grade as I did the previous year. It is strange, but it is a good strange. My new group of kids is fun and we are beginning to get settled in and develop a comfort with one another.
4. I have a computer again! I know this may seem odd, but I have missed (at times) not having a computer. The people I am living with had an extra laptop and they have wireless, so they hooked me up. Hopefully I will have my own computer in the next month or two. It is good be in touch with people again.
5. (this is probably the biggest one for me) 5 of my girls are in college! Many of you know that I led a girls' Bible study the past 5.5 years. Well, of my 7 girls, 5 left for college a few weeks ago. We had one last hurrah this summer and went to Chicago for the weekend (and saw Wicked). I have spent countless hours with these girls over the last 5 years and it has come to an end. God blessed my life so much through each one of these girls. What a blessing to be a part of each of their lives, watch them grow up, see them develop in their relationship with Jesus, and become young women.
6. A call to ministry! The Lord has placed a burden on my heart for jr/sr high girls ministry. What does this mean for me? I have no idea. But I have been praying that God will lead me, provide opportunities to minister, and help me to reach out to these girls. It is sure to be an exciting journey.
So, lots of moves happening in my life. It is so good. I'm grateful that I serve a God that allows me to be uncomfortable. It is my prayer that HE will lead me and direct my every step as I head into the next season of life.
Thursday, May 15, 2008
Chaos
Many of you know that I am a 5th grade teacher. Well, the end of any school year (we have 10 more days) brings SO MUCH CHAOS! I feel like I am going hour-by-hour and sometimes even minute-by-minute. Last night I got to bed at 1:00 AM! Today has been rough. My kids are getting super chatty, knowing that summer is just around the corner - I can't blame them. However, we still have things to get done.
This week has been exceptionally busy for me. Here's the rundown (mind you I have been at school by 6:45 AM at the latest each day):
Monday - school (begin lit. circles), McDonald's Teacher night, walk with mom
Tuesday - school (Middle School orientation, nails, staff retirement dinner (missed Bible study)
Wednesday - school (testing, DARE dog, DARE Graduation practice, DARE Graduation), visit friend who had a baby, HS small groups, stayed and visited way too late
Thursday - school (testing), work out, walk with mom, basketball practice, grade papers
Friday - school (Field Day, games, snake program), crash at home
Why am I running down my list you ask? Well, notice what is missing from every day but one....God time. I hate when I get so busy that I miss out on my God time. Or should I say, "I hate when I push my God time back to make room for other things." It has been evident to me too. I am grouchy and moody and emotional and tired. I am not ever being refreshed.
Chaos. It makes me crazy. I just want to stop and make myself make time for what my soul needs. I wonder when I will really do it?
This week has been exceptionally busy for me. Here's the rundown (mind you I have been at school by 6:45 AM at the latest each day):
Monday - school (begin lit. circles), McDonald's Teacher night, walk with mom
Tuesday - school (Middle School orientation, nails, staff retirement dinner (missed Bible study)
Wednesday - school (testing, DARE dog, DARE Graduation practice, DARE Graduation), visit friend who had a baby, HS small groups, stayed and visited way too late
Thursday - school (testing), work out, walk with mom, basketball practice, grade papers
Friday - school (Field Day, games, snake program), crash at home
Why am I running down my list you ask? Well, notice what is missing from every day but one....God time. I hate when I get so busy that I miss out on my God time. Or should I say, "I hate when I push my God time back to make room for other things." It has been evident to me too. I am grouchy and moody and emotional and tired. I am not ever being refreshed.
Chaos. It makes me crazy. I just want to stop and make myself make time for what my soul needs. I wonder when I will really do it?
Sunday, April 13, 2008
blog frustrations
If you read my tagged post, you can see that it didn't space between paragraphs. I have no clue why and I help searched it and everything. If anyone can help me out, I would appreciate it. It may help to know that I am pretty much computer illiterate and you will have to spell things out for me.
Thanks, Dina
Thanks, Dina
I've Been Tagged...
...by more than one person. I have been on Spring Break - away from school and computers and it was WONDERFUL. But, I will be headed back to school tomorrow and thought I should get this post done since about 5 people have tagged me. So, here goes (and you may not hold any of these facts against me)!
Weird Fact #1
I fold my underpants. So many people just wad them up and throw them in a drawer. Not me...I actually take the time to fold them all and place them neatly in a dresser drawer. Some of my old roomies thought it would be funny and actually took the time to mess up my drawer. I tried to live with it and that lasted about 36 hours - I couldn't take it any longer and folded them all back up.
Weird Fact #2
I don't mix my food. I generally eat one thing off my plate at a time. Sometimes I will mix things up, but I generally eat all of one thing on my plate before moving to the next.
Weird Fact #3
I shave once a week. I don't do this out of laziness, I just don't have to shave more than that. Now, in the summer, I will shave at least 2 and sometimes 3 times a week, but the hair on my legs just doesn't grow that much. It may not seem too weird, but it definately has caused some slight envy from my friends. Hahaha!
Weird Fact #4
I don't like scalding hot food. If I make something in the oven, frozen pizza for instance, I put it in the fridge or freezer to cool off before I will eat it. I also put ice cubes in soup to cool it off. I know it is strange, but I don't burn my mouth!
Weird Fact #5
My CD's are insanely organized. First I arrange them by genre (christian, Beatles, soundtracks, other, Christmas). Then, within eat genre I alphabetize them all. If I have more than one CD per artist, I arrange them by their release date. It is so strange, but at least I know right where to find them. (it makes my roomie a little nervous when her neice and nephew come over and knock them off the shelf. oh, the laughs. And don't worry, I don't throw a tantrum or anything like that.)
Weird Fact #6
I love shoes - not so weird. The weird thing is that when I buy new tennis shoes, I plan to wear my favorite jeans to be sure that the shoes look good with the jeans. I also must have squishy tennis shoes. I wear them A LOT so they have to be comfy. (mayday...I found some great insoles that I bought with my newest tennis shoes. They are amazing...it feels like I'm walking on a gymnastics mat all the time.)
Weird Fact #7
I can't sleep in silence. I grew up in the country and always had the sound of outside to put me to sleep. In the winter, I listened to music. Well, now I either have to turn the sleep timer on the TV to fall asleep or have music on. If it is silent, I can lay awake all night no matter how exhausted I may be. There have been times in my life when I didn't have TV or music to fall asleep, so I talk myself to sleep. I know, you are probably thinking, "this girl is whack" and I might very well be, but at least I get good sleep at night.
So, I totally won't tag anyone since they have all tagged me. I hope you enjoy my strangeness!
Psalm 139:14 "I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well."
Thursday, April 03, 2008
getting there
This post is nothing profound. I've been tagged. I just haven't had time to post - school is crazy busy. Only 1 day and 2 hours til Spring Break! I promise my tagged post is coming soon!
Smooches to all....Dina
Smooches to all....Dina
Sunday, March 09, 2008
Pain
Sometimes it hurts: physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually.
Pain from exercising.
Pain from losing a loved one.
Pain from wondering.
Pain from caring.
Pain from realizing that things don't always go as planned.
But, then comes that really crappy, unexplainable pain. And I wonder how long will it last? And I ask Jesus if/when he will heal me. And I wish there was an explanation for wanting to break down every time I blink.
But . . . I have no reason.
It just hurts.
Pain from exercising.
Pain from losing a loved one.
Pain from wondering.
Pain from caring.
Pain from realizing that things don't always go as planned.
But, then comes that really crappy, unexplainable pain. And I wonder how long will it last? And I ask Jesus if/when he will heal me. And I wish there was an explanation for wanting to break down every time I blink.
But . . . I have no reason.
It just hurts.
Monday, March 03, 2008
Waiting
My phone's banner says "Wait on Jesus". Why do I need this constant reminder? I guess its because I am a gung-ho kind of person. When I want something, I go after it and I don't always wait for God's timing. Inevitably things don't work out so well.
So, I put a reminder on my phone, "Wait on Jesus," because I see that reminder at least 15 times a day (I've seen it 3 times already today). I know there are things happening in my life right now that could fall apart if I don't do just that . . . Wait on Jesus. There are opportunities, doors that are cracked open, and I want to push through them but I can't. I need to Wait on Jesus.
Knowing in my heart that I need to wait on him, I looked to my Bible for some encouragement. Here is what I found:
Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord: be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
Isaiah 30:18 "For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait on him."
Acts 1:4 [Jesus commands] "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised."
1Thessalonians 1:10 "...and wait for his Son from heaven - Jesus who rescues us from the coming wrath."
Romans 8:19 "The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."
You know what I've learned? It is good to wait! It is hard to wait. Psalm 130:5 says while we wait we need to put our hope in HIS word. Seek God out . . . maybe that's why he wants you and me to wait. Romans 8:19 says we wait eagerly. If I am constantly jumping into things, the excitement can't build. I don't give God time to prepare me for what lies ahead. You can't jump into a battle or a game without preparing for it! When we get pumped up and train, we are SO much more driven.
I guess waiting on Jesus is hard, but it is SO worth it. Where is God saying in your life, Wait on Jesus?
So, I put a reminder on my phone, "Wait on Jesus," because I see that reminder at least 15 times a day (I've seen it 3 times already today). I know there are things happening in my life right now that could fall apart if I don't do just that . . . Wait on Jesus. There are opportunities, doors that are cracked open, and I want to push through them but I can't. I need to Wait on Jesus.
Knowing in my heart that I need to wait on him, I looked to my Bible for some encouragement. Here is what I found:
Psalm 27:14 "Wait for the Lord: be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord."
Psalm 130:5 "I wait for the Lord, my soul waits, and in his word I put my hope."
Isaiah 30:18 "For the Lord is a God of justice. Blessed are all who wait on him."
Acts 1:4 [Jesus commands] "Do not leave Jerusalem, but wait for the gift my Father promised."
1Thessalonians 1:10 "...and wait for his Son from heaven - Jesus who rescues us from the coming wrath."
Romans 8:19 "The creation waits in eager expectation for the sons of God to be revealed."
You know what I've learned? It is good to wait! It is hard to wait. Psalm 130:5 says while we wait we need to put our hope in HIS word. Seek God out . . . maybe that's why he wants you and me to wait. Romans 8:19 says we wait eagerly. If I am constantly jumping into things, the excitement can't build. I don't give God time to prepare me for what lies ahead. You can't jump into a battle or a game without preparing for it! When we get pumped up and train, we are SO much more driven.
I guess waiting on Jesus is hard, but it is SO worth it. Where is God saying in your life, Wait on Jesus?
Tuesday, December 18, 2007
Throw it out the Door
I have learned a valuable lesson these past 3 weeks. Sometimes, you have to throw your plans out the door.
Let me explain...
I am a 5th grade teacher in northern Indiana. Many of you know that we have been puked on my Old Man Winter at random times recently. Being that I also coach basketball and the season has begun, I planned ahead. Over Thanksgiving Break, I planned out some things to get up to Christmas Break (to have goals and to keep my life a little less crazy during bball). I made sure to plan in 2 "weather days" just in case. Well, we have had 4 days cancelled and at least 2 or 3 delays. Needless to say, all the planning has kind of gone down the tubes. I spent a full day at school today - with no students- working on things. I was going to figure out my lesson plans for the remaining 3 days, but have decided to just keep the plan book blank. Oh, I have a few notes of things that MUST get done but I am not going to stress over it anymore. We will just go with the flow.
Now for the lesson I've learned. I'm sure I am not the only one guilty of this either. I tend to plan my life: the typical "5 or 10-year-plan" and it always gets messed up. I am so focused on where I want me to be and I lose sight of the plans that God has for me. He even tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
Sometimes we have to just throw our plans out the door. Sometimes we have to just live in the moment that God has blessed us with. Sometimes we tend to focus so much on making plans that we miss the opportunities God has right in front of us.
Do you need to throw it out the door? Does God have something amazing right in front of you that is going unnoticed because of your agenda?
Let me explain...
I am a 5th grade teacher in northern Indiana. Many of you know that we have been puked on my Old Man Winter at random times recently. Being that I also coach basketball and the season has begun, I planned ahead. Over Thanksgiving Break, I planned out some things to get up to Christmas Break (to have goals and to keep my life a little less crazy during bball). I made sure to plan in 2 "weather days" just in case. Well, we have had 4 days cancelled and at least 2 or 3 delays. Needless to say, all the planning has kind of gone down the tubes. I spent a full day at school today - with no students- working on things. I was going to figure out my lesson plans for the remaining 3 days, but have decided to just keep the plan book blank. Oh, I have a few notes of things that MUST get done but I am not going to stress over it anymore. We will just go with the flow.
Now for the lesson I've learned. I'm sure I am not the only one guilty of this either. I tend to plan my life: the typical "5 or 10-year-plan" and it always gets messed up. I am so focused on where I want me to be and I lose sight of the plans that God has for me. He even tells us in Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"
Sometimes we have to just throw our plans out the door. Sometimes we have to just live in the moment that God has blessed us with. Sometimes we tend to focus so much on making plans that we miss the opportunities God has right in front of us.
Do you need to throw it out the door? Does God have something amazing right in front of you that is going unnoticed because of your agenda?
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Finding Peace
So, I realize that I haven't finished the second part of my summer (and my roomie is waiting for my next post). Let me preface this by saying that God is so good and he knows exactly what we need and exactly when we need it.
My summer ended with me ready to move on in my church life. I adored the church that I was attending, but it wasn't meeting my needs as a 27-year-old single person. I have known for the last year that I needed to find a group of young adults to get involved with, but I kept putting it off for various reasons. One major reason was guilt, not conviction, guilt. I realized that this guilt was satan's way of fighting against what God was trying to teach me and where God was trying to lead me. No one at my previous church did anything to make me "feel" guilty, it was just satan warping my mind.
The first big step I took this summer was stepping down as a youth leader at my previous church. I love youth ministry, I love my kids, but I was spreading myself too thin and loosing sight of Jesus. It was a tough decision....probably one of the hardest decisions I've had to make for a while. It wasn't too bad though. I had two of my mentors, Tim and Kim, in prayer for me and I knew that they were praying for God's will to be done.
The second big step that I took was to church shop. I like this term for several reasons. I looked at it like grocery shopping: when you grocery shop you go to the store looking for what you need. That is what I did. I looked for a church that had a young adult group, a youth ministry that I may get involved with, a consistent pastor, music (God speaks to me this way), and a vision to grow God's church and not just their congregation.
I visited a few new churches and revisited some churches I had been to before. It didn't take long. I am now attending the NWUMC and I love it! I look forward to going to church, worshipping, meeting new faces, and being part of something. There are opportunities to get involved, but I am waiting on God's lead. I have had several confirmations that this is where I belong...for now...and I feel totally at peace.
Yes, leaving the familiarity of Red Zone was tough. Yes, there were times when I really doubted that decisions. Yes, it was hard to look at people and know that they may be hurt or confused about my decision. BUT God kept me at peace. I had to focus on HIM to get me through. I had to constantly seek HIM out and follow his lead. And, you know what? It worked.
Isaiah 26:3 You [God] will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you [God].
This verse became real to me this summer. It is still very real to me. I cannot imagine what would be happening in my life if I din't focus on the Lord. WHere would I be? Would I get to experience the perfect peace that Isaiah talks about? I don't know. What I do know is that I am experiencing peace and I don't want to be anyhwere else.
My summer ended with me ready to move on in my church life. I adored the church that I was attending, but it wasn't meeting my needs as a 27-year-old single person. I have known for the last year that I needed to find a group of young adults to get involved with, but I kept putting it off for various reasons. One major reason was guilt, not conviction, guilt. I realized that this guilt was satan's way of fighting against what God was trying to teach me and where God was trying to lead me. No one at my previous church did anything to make me "feel" guilty, it was just satan warping my mind.
The first big step I took this summer was stepping down as a youth leader at my previous church. I love youth ministry, I love my kids, but I was spreading myself too thin and loosing sight of Jesus. It was a tough decision....probably one of the hardest decisions I've had to make for a while. It wasn't too bad though. I had two of my mentors, Tim and Kim, in prayer for me and I knew that they were praying for God's will to be done.
The second big step that I took was to church shop. I like this term for several reasons. I looked at it like grocery shopping: when you grocery shop you go to the store looking for what you need. That is what I did. I looked for a church that had a young adult group, a youth ministry that I may get involved with, a consistent pastor, music (God speaks to me this way), and a vision to grow God's church and not just their congregation.
I visited a few new churches and revisited some churches I had been to before. It didn't take long. I am now attending the NWUMC and I love it! I look forward to going to church, worshipping, meeting new faces, and being part of something. There are opportunities to get involved, but I am waiting on God's lead. I have had several confirmations that this is where I belong...for now...and I feel totally at peace.
Yes, leaving the familiarity of Red Zone was tough. Yes, there were times when I really doubted that decisions. Yes, it was hard to look at people and know that they may be hurt or confused about my decision. BUT God kept me at peace. I had to focus on HIM to get me through. I had to constantly seek HIM out and follow his lead. And, you know what? It worked.
Isaiah 26:3 You [God] will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you [God].
This verse became real to me this summer. It is still very real to me. I cannot imagine what would be happening in my life if I din't focus on the Lord. WHere would I be? Would I get to experience the perfect peace that Isaiah talks about? I don't know. What I do know is that I am experiencing peace and I don't want to be anyhwere else.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
Why.............?
I had a rough summer. I dealt with a lot of personal struggles, mostly emotional and spiritual. There were days when I struggled to get out of bed or just do something. It wasn't anything MAJOR, but I learned SO much. I am probably going to take two posts to get it all out.
This first post comes from my journal on July 28. It is never easy for me to share myself like this, but I want to share what the Lord taught me through my summer. In order to do that, you need to know where it all began....
7-28-07
Why? I'm so tired of this life! I'm tired of not liking myself. I'm tired of allowing satan to get me where it hurts. I'm tired of not knowing what I want to do or why God has placed burning desires in my heart and then felling like I'm on my own to sort out EVERYTHING. I want to focus everything on serving Him, but I feel torn in so many directions and I don't know where to go first.
So.......I do nothing. And I HATE it and I'm ashamed to call myself a Christian. What about my life says, "That girl is in love with something amazing!" or "She has got it" - and wonder what IT is? Why? Why? Why? I just want to run and get AWAY from everything and everyone and be me with no single thing to distract me except a burning desire and passion for my LORD and SAVIOR. I want to be overwhelmed by Christ and the love He has for me. I want to be out of control about God - can't contain it! How do I get there? What does that look like for my life? Is it ever going to fully happen on this earth, in this life? I so want to hope that it will, but is seems like a lost hope - worthless. Do I really believe that the God I have grown to love, that I claim to serve......do I believe that He is the I AM? Sometimes I seriously don't know what I'm doing, what I'm believing. Ahhh!
I don't doubt that I am not the only person in the world to feel this way. Know that you are not alone if you have felt this way. I guess that's why I posted this - to remind myself and anyone who reads this that we don't have to go through life alone. Christ is there.....ALWAYS.
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." -Psalm 23:4
This first post comes from my journal on July 28. It is never easy for me to share myself like this, but I want to share what the Lord taught me through my summer. In order to do that, you need to know where it all began....
7-28-07
Why? I'm so tired of this life! I'm tired of not liking myself. I'm tired of allowing satan to get me where it hurts. I'm tired of not knowing what I want to do or why God has placed burning desires in my heart and then felling like I'm on my own to sort out EVERYTHING. I want to focus everything on serving Him, but I feel torn in so many directions and I don't know where to go first.
So.......I do nothing. And I HATE it and I'm ashamed to call myself a Christian. What about my life says, "That girl is in love with something amazing!" or "She has got it" - and wonder what IT is? Why? Why? Why? I just want to run and get AWAY from everything and everyone and be me with no single thing to distract me except a burning desire and passion for my LORD and SAVIOR. I want to be overwhelmed by Christ and the love He has for me. I want to be out of control about God - can't contain it! How do I get there? What does that look like for my life? Is it ever going to fully happen on this earth, in this life? I so want to hope that it will, but is seems like a lost hope - worthless. Do I really believe that the God I have grown to love, that I claim to serve......do I believe that He is the I AM? Sometimes I seriously don't know what I'm doing, what I'm believing. Ahhh!
I don't doubt that I am not the only person in the world to feel this way. Know that you are not alone if you have felt this way. I guess that's why I posted this - to remind myself and anyone who reads this that we don't have to go through life alone. Christ is there.....ALWAYS.
"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me; your rod and your staff, they comfort me." -Psalm 23:4
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
hi
Sorry I haven't posted for a while. I want to catch you all up on my summer, but it will take 2 posts. I am hoping to put one up tomorrow and one on Friday. (Please don't hold me to that.) I will do my best to be a better blogger too. I am trying to get the hang of the 5th grade routine down - lots of papers to grade! We'll get there and I will post more. Thanks to all who keep checking on me......something new will be here soon!
Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Overwhelmed
I wrote this on Sunday, June 24, 2007
Overwhelmed: to affect deeply in mind or emotion
Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by something? Someone? A moment? . . . . . . . . I have. The last 3 days have been overwhelming.
First off, I spent my weekend at the Pro Life Music Festival in Warsaw (www.plmf.org) whish was overwhelming. I am blessed to volunteer at this and witness thousands of people gathered together for one common purpose - to support LIFE! I heard amazing testimonies of women who had abortions and all of the emotions that came with those abortions. I heard testimonies from women who found help at crisis pregnancy centers. I heard testimonies from some amazing musicians who just poured their lives and music into the worship of our Lord and Savior. I spent time with band members and volunteers - all working for one common purpose. I mingled with friends (including my dear friend Jimmy B) and fellow believers. It was overwhelming.
Second was hosting a band from another concert. Some very dear friends of mine played a show with a band from Pittsburg, PA. They needed a place to stay and I opened my home. At first, I wasn’t too thrilled because I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. But, Jesus kicked me in the pants and reminded me that I am a servant. He demands us to put others before ourselves. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” If that isn’t a demand, then I don’t know what is. I met the band and they were awesome! They were so grateful to have beds to sleep in and a shower to use. I got home Saturday night at midnight to a tear-rendering thank you note from this group. I was overwhelmed.
Third was church this morning. Have you ever experienced God in such a way that you can’t explain the moment with words? Worship was beyond me today. The music was totally driven by the Holy Spirit! We had a guest speaker, Dr. Jackson, who spoke about the lies of evolution. My favorite part of Dr. Jackson’s speaking is the God-centeredness of it. The man has the presence of Jesus pouring out of him. The music time that followed was unspeakable. What I mean is that I was overwhelmed. We sang “I am Nothing” (Jeremy Camp) and “Amazing Love” (Newsboys). I was blessed to be in the worship band this week. Personally, leading the second of the 2 songs was totally the work of God. My very being wanted to collapse in the splendor of my unfathomable creator God. I kept praying, “Lord, keep the words coming. Here my praise to you.” I was actually trembling and I don’t doubt for one instance that it was the very presence of God filling my spirit.
Lastly, tonight…….I am in Grand Rapids, MI at a concert. Our Hero’s End (www.myspace.com/ourherosend) played along with 2 local bands, NEVERTHELESS, and Disciple. The bands have all shared why they are doing this - to glorify God. The lead singer from Disciple just spoke shortly and began with this question, “Have you ever trembled out of pure respect for God?” How crazy that my day began with trembling in the very presence of God!!!??!!! It is overwhelming.
These are all big moments. There was definitely high energy, crowds of believers, and an overwhelming presence of God himself. But, God is also in the small moments. Scriptures talks about hearing God in the quiet stillness, in the wind (1 Kings 19:12). I have had those moments this weekend too. Amidst all the hype of concerts and church and speakers, where God definitely was, He was in some very quiet moments. Looking out my kitchen window this morning, I noticed the wildlife right in my back yard. My house was still, the sun had just come out, and I felt God’s presence saying, “Good morning, Dina.” It was the most overwhelming part of my weekend.
Why did I tell you this . . . . I just felt like I should. I serve a God who is so amazing that you can’t contain him. HE IS OVERWHELMING!!! Have you been overwhelmed by God? I would love to hear about it.
Overwhelmed: to affect deeply in mind or emotion
Have you ever felt completely overwhelmed by something? Someone? A moment? . . . . . . . . I have. The last 3 days have been overwhelming.
First off, I spent my weekend at the Pro Life Music Festival in Warsaw (www.plmf.org) whish was overwhelming. I am blessed to volunteer at this and witness thousands of people gathered together for one common purpose - to support LIFE! I heard amazing testimonies of women who had abortions and all of the emotions that came with those abortions. I heard testimonies from women who found help at crisis pregnancy centers. I heard testimonies from some amazing musicians who just poured their lives and music into the worship of our Lord and Savior. I spent time with band members and volunteers - all working for one common purpose. I mingled with friends (including my dear friend Jimmy B) and fellow believers. It was overwhelming.
Second was hosting a band from another concert. Some very dear friends of mine played a show with a band from Pittsburg, PA. They needed a place to stay and I opened my home. At first, I wasn’t too thrilled because I was exhausted and wanted to sleep. But, Jesus kicked me in the pants and reminded me that I am a servant. He demands us to put others before ourselves. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others.” If that isn’t a demand, then I don’t know what is. I met the band and they were awesome! They were so grateful to have beds to sleep in and a shower to use. I got home Saturday night at midnight to a tear-rendering thank you note from this group. I was overwhelmed.
Third was church this morning. Have you ever experienced God in such a way that you can’t explain the moment with words? Worship was beyond me today. The music was totally driven by the Holy Spirit! We had a guest speaker, Dr. Jackson, who spoke about the lies of evolution. My favorite part of Dr. Jackson’s speaking is the God-centeredness of it. The man has the presence of Jesus pouring out of him. The music time that followed was unspeakable. What I mean is that I was overwhelmed. We sang “I am Nothing” (Jeremy Camp) and “Amazing Love” (Newsboys). I was blessed to be in the worship band this week. Personally, leading the second of the 2 songs was totally the work of God. My very being wanted to collapse in the splendor of my unfathomable creator God. I kept praying, “Lord, keep the words coming. Here my praise to you.” I was actually trembling and I don’t doubt for one instance that it was the very presence of God filling my spirit.
Lastly, tonight…….I am in Grand Rapids, MI at a concert. Our Hero’s End (www.myspace.com/ourherosend) played along with 2 local bands, NEVERTHELESS, and Disciple. The bands have all shared why they are doing this - to glorify God. The lead singer from Disciple just spoke shortly and began with this question, “Have you ever trembled out of pure respect for God?” How crazy that my day began with trembling in the very presence of God!!!??!!! It is overwhelming.
These are all big moments. There was definitely high energy, crowds of believers, and an overwhelming presence of God himself. But, God is also in the small moments. Scriptures talks about hearing God in the quiet stillness, in the wind (1 Kings 19:12). I have had those moments this weekend too. Amidst all the hype of concerts and church and speakers, where God definitely was, He was in some very quiet moments. Looking out my kitchen window this morning, I noticed the wildlife right in my back yard. My house was still, the sun had just come out, and I felt God’s presence saying, “Good morning, Dina.” It was the most overwhelming part of my weekend.
Why did I tell you this . . . . I just felt like I should. I serve a God who is so amazing that you can’t contain him. HE IS OVERWHELMING!!! Have you been overwhelmed by God? I would love to hear about it.
Thursday, June 07, 2007
Being Silly
Those of you that know me know that I love to live life. I have been accused of being silly (I don't know why!). I have been thinking about this lately and I have come to realize how incredibly true it is. I love being silly. I love laughing and having fun in all that I do. Of course there are times in my life
that aren't silly. However, more often than not, I am being silly.
I have realized that some of my readers may not know this about me. My life allows me to be silly and be a kid. In the words of my dear friend Kim, "I don't plan on ever growing up!" I taught 4th grade this year (moving up to 5th next year). My kids informed me, countless times, that I am crazy or that I make them laugh. I work with Jr/Sr High youth kids and I have been known to do some crazy/silly things with them (those stories don't all need to be shared). I love to make people laugh - it usually makes me laugh. Oh, and I recently joined "The Dixie Clucks" - a fun little skit that I do with some other teachers at school functions.
The best part of being silly is that I keep myself young. I am sure there are people in my life who
think that I am immature or stupid, but I don't care. I am professional and serious when I need to be. But, God created me in his image and I like to think that HE did a great job. It has taken me time to get to this point in my life, but that is who MY CREATOR wanted me to be.
So, don't grow up too fast. Stay young at heart, it makes life much more exciting and enjoyable. I leave you with this scripture: 1 Timothy 4:12 "Do not anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an examply for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
that aren't silly. However, more often than not, I am being silly. I have realized that some of my readers may not know this about me. My life allows me to be silly and be a kid. In the words of my dear friend Kim, "I don't plan on ever growing up!" I taught 4th grade this year (moving up to 5th next year). My kids informed me, countless times, that I am crazy or that I make them laugh. I work with Jr/Sr High youth kids and I have been known to do some crazy/silly things with them (those stories don't all need to be shared). I love to make people laugh - it usually makes me laugh. Oh, and I recently joined "The Dixie Clucks" - a fun little skit that I do with some other teachers at school functions.
The best part of being silly is that I keep myself young. I am sure there are people in my life who
think that I am immature or stupid, but I don't care. I am professional and serious when I need to be. But, God created me in his image and I like to think that HE did a great job. It has taken me time to get to this point in my life, but that is who MY CREATOR wanted me to be.So, don't grow up too fast. Stay young at heart, it makes life much more exciting and enjoyable. I leave you with this scripture: 1 Timothy 4:12 "Do not anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an examply for the believers in speech, in life, in love, in faith and in purity."
Friday, April 20, 2007
My boys
I have "my boys" and they are amazing boys. It is by the grace of God that my life has been meshed with each one of them. They are between the ages of 17-20. The relationship that I have with each of them makes me laugh because only God would have put them in my life.
I have known Mikey and Matt for a very long time (10 years at least). Tyrus I have known for about 4 years. Austin I have known for a year. This summer our youth group decided to start small groups. Being that there was only 1 male youth sponsor and about 10 guys, I volunteered to take a group of boys. These are the 4 that I ended up with and I couldn't be more privileged to have them in my lives. I look forward to youth group, hanging out with Tyrus and Austin. Mikey and Matt have graduated, but they still call or write or stop by and I love it. It makes me laugh that I am a 26 year old girl and that God placed these 4 boys in my life as accountability peeps.
What a sense of humor God has and how unexpected.
The best thing about these boys is that they are so real with me. They make me be real too and I love it. They call at random times, include me in their lives, and just love me for being Dina. They are a great example of the unconditional love that Christ so graciously poors over each one of us. I look forward to the text messages that I get from them. I love when they leave me comments on myspace.
It hit me hard last Sunday just how blessed I am to have each of them in my life. Our sermon at church was one that hit my heart and Jesus broke me. It was AMAZING! I cried and prayed and praised. The best part was the hugs that I recieved from Mikey and Matt after church. Then, at youth group, Austin blasted me with an amazing hug. Monday night, I got to spend time with Tyrus and it was great! God knows how to reach into my life and he uses my boys rather often.
God has really shown me the ministry that lies with these 4 boys - it reminds me of Jesus. Now, I am in no way calling myself Jesus, but how unlikely were his boys? They were not people that you would expect to be church planters, they were not the most scholarly. But, God had a purpose for them. A purpose that is beyond this world. I take that to heart with my boys. I wonder why God placed them in my life, and He has his ways to remind me.
I ask anyone who reads this: has God placed people in your life and you wonder why? I have no doubt that the relationships God gives us are for HIS kingdom. Are you using those relationships for the kingdom?
I have known Mikey and Matt for a very long time (10 years at least). Tyrus I have known for about 4 years. Austin I have known for a year. This summer our youth group decided to start small groups. Being that there was only 1 male youth sponsor and about 10 guys, I volunteered to take a group of boys. These are the 4 that I ended up with and I couldn't be more privileged to have them in my lives. I look forward to youth group, hanging out with Tyrus and Austin. Mikey and Matt have graduated, but they still call or write or stop by and I love it. It makes me laugh that I am a 26 year old girl and that God placed these 4 boys in my life as accountability peeps. What a sense of humor God has and how unexpected.
The best thing about these boys is that they are so real with me. They make me be real too and I love it. They call at random times, include me in their lives, and just love me for being Dina. They are a great example of the unconditional love that Christ so graciously poors over each one of us. I look forward to the text messages that I get from them. I love when they leave me comments on myspace.
It hit me hard last Sunday just how blessed I am to have each of them in my life. Our sermon at church was one that hit my heart and Jesus broke me. It was AMAZING! I cried and prayed and praised. The best part was the hugs that I recieved from Mikey and Matt after church. Then, at youth group, Austin blasted me with an amazing hug. Monday night, I got to spend time with Tyrus and it was great! God knows how to reach into my life and he uses my boys rather often.
God has really shown me the ministry that lies with these 4 boys - it reminds me of Jesus. Now, I am in no way calling myself Jesus, but how unlikely were his boys? They were not people that you would expect to be church planters, they were not the most scholarly. But, God had a purpose for them. A purpose that is beyond this world. I take that to heart with my boys. I wonder why God placed them in my life, and He has his ways to remind me.
I ask anyone who reads this: has God placed people in your life and you wonder why? I have no doubt that the relationships God gives us are for HIS kingdom. Are you using those relationships for the kingdom?
Saturday, March 31, 2007
God has a way...
Have you ever noticed that God has a way of reminding us that we are totally resting in his hands? I had one of these moments Thursday night. I have been slightly stressed lately - I dislocated my finger a month ago and I am undergoing major dental work. This means lots of money coming out and missing work (which takes money away). So, it has been slightly stressful. I was in serious need of some love and God had that planned.
My dear friend Tim offered to cook dinner for me and some of my college friends. These girls are just about the greatest women I have ever encountered in my 26 years of life. It is totally God that brought us all together in college and He has kept us close for the past 8 years! We all try to get together when we can, but schedules and babies, and families don't always allow for that. However, we found some time to get together and it was wonderful.
As I returned home, I couldn't thank God enough for these amazing friends that he has so graciously blessed me with. We laughed, ate, and relaxed together. It was wonderful to see each of them and my 2 cutiehead neices. Sometimes it is hard to not see each other as often as we did in college. But, it makes the times that we do have together so special.
I have some scripture to share that usually comes to mind when I am with these girls.
Romans 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Colossians 3:17 And wahtever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
I am reminding each of us, myself included, to remember that God has a way of reminding us, nudging us. We are not alone in this world. There is one relationship that should be placed first and that is our relationship with Jesus Christ. Is God trying to remind you of this? Are you missing out on the reminders?
Picture taken by Tim Stiffler www.timstifflerthephotographer.com
To see the food we ate, click on Jess' link (to the side)
My dear friend Tim offered to cook dinner for me and some of my college friends. These girls are just about the greatest women I have ever encountered in my 26 years of life. It is totally God that brought us all together in college and He has kept us close for the past 8 years! We all try to get together when we can, but schedules and babies, and families don't always allow for that. However, we found some time to get together and it was wonderful.
As I returned home, I couldn't thank God enough for these amazing friends that he has so graciously blessed me with. We laughed, ate, and relaxed together. It was wonderful to see each of them and my 2 cutiehead neices. Sometimes it is hard to not see each other as often as we did in college. But, it makes the times that we do have together so special.
I have some scripture to share that usually comes to mind when I am with these girls.
Romans 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Colossians 3:17 And wahtever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.
I am reminding each of us, myself included, to remember that God has a way of reminding us, nudging us. We are not alone in this world. There is one relationship that should be placed first and that is our relationship with Jesus Christ. Is God trying to remind you of this? Are you missing out on the reminders?
Picture taken by Tim Stiffler www.timstifflerthephotographer.com
To see the food we ate, click on Jess' link (to the side)
Wednesday, February 14, 2007
Frustration
I have been frustrated lately. It has taken me a while to write about this too because I don't want to be venting, but I really want to share some lessons I have learned.
I coach 8th girls' basketball. I love the sport. I love the girls. I love teaching this fabulous sport. My team this year is very talented, but I don't think they fully understand just how talented they are. 
They haven't played to their full potential this season. Our record is 6-6 (it should be 10-2 or 11-1). The losses have been huge and the wins have been close (all but 2). I stand on the sidelines of each game wondering if the girls are going to play like they can or if they are going to let another game be lost. The worst part of the whole thing is that it is out of my control.
I do my best to teach them the game, to trouble-shoot during games, and strengthen their skills at practice and in games. I aim to teach them to respect the game of basketball, their teammates, coaches, and opponents. No matter how much I show them, encourage them, or help them, I can't determine what they will do when they step on the court to play a game.
It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that I went to God for help, in tears and desperate. I pleaded with him to make them play, to get their heads out of their rears, and to do what I know they are capable of. Guess what God said? Nothing . . . . . . . until Monday.
Monday I was at the dentist (a whole other story). I was there quite a while and had plenty of time to myself. So, I tried to be still and relax and converse with God. I got my answer. That answer comes from the book of Mark. A dear friend of mine had sent this to me a few years ago when I was going through a similar situation.
17A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
19"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." -Mark 9:17-19
19"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." -Mark 9:17-19
Jesus got so frustrated with his disciples. They had seen miracle after miracle and still didn't have the faith to do the work that God had prepared them for. Here were 12 guys that had been closer to Jesus than anyone. They had shared in very intimate parts of Jesus' life, seen miracles, witnessed supernatural occurences and still lacked.
Then I thought, how many times has God been frustrated with me? How many times have I not doen what I am capable of with God as my coach? The answer.......too many. I am sure that God has been frustrated with me when I am not honest about my relationship with him, when I don't stand up for him, when I pass up an opportunity to share my faith with an unbeliever. God can't play the game for me anymore than I can play for my girls.
So, what have I done. Well, I am trying to be more positive. I am trying to trust my girls. I am going at each day of bball with a fresh attitude that I am doing my best as a coach.
I want to encourage you if you are frustrated to stop, pray, and want to understand why you are frustrated. Is it because God doesn't care or because you don't care?
Beauty
Have you ever sat back and been in awe of God? I mean, really been in awe?
This happened to me today. We have been completely blasted with snow over the past 2 days. Unofficial reports say that Syracuse got 8.5-10 inches of snow! That is a lot of snow! I looked out my bathroom window this morning and I couldn't even see the driveway. It was unreal. School had gotten cancelled, so I went back to bed.
Backing up . . . yesterday I was home all day as was my roomie. Once we both found out we didn't have to work today she looked at me and said, "Guess what we should do tomorrow since we don't have to work?" I replied, "Uh, shovel the driveway." Jenn said, "Oh, that too. But I was thinking that we should play in the snow."
So, that is just what we did today! It was wonderful and not really too cold. The wonderful Amos (Jenn's bro-in-law) snowblowed our driveway. Jenn and I shoveled the sidewalk and porch. Then the fun began. We made snow angels, threw snow balls, and Jenn attempted to snowboard in the yard (with no success). She got stuck. I hauled her and board over my shoulder and carried them up the driveway. She boarded down the driveway (twice) and I hauled her up. Then we went for a walk down our street.
The snow was AMAZING! I found myself wondering once again if that snow was dropped just to remind me of the BIG God that I serve. I thought of Chris Tomlin's song, Indescribable. The lyrics say, "Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go? Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?" That is one big God!
I have been down in the dumps alot lately - in my spiritual walk. I feel disconected, uncertain, and lonely. Reading my Bible has not been a high priority, just enough to keep up with the reading that I am doing for Bible study. I haven't felt or seen God's beauty in much of anything.
Thank you Jesus for the snow. Thank you for snowing me in with a great roomie. Thanks for the break to be a lazy bum at home yesterday and enjoy the beautiful roomie that you have blessed me with. Thank you for the snow. Thank you for the moments today to see how BIG you really are. Thank you more than anything for always making yourself known in my life. You are truly a beautiful God.
Here are some snow pictures:1. Jenn snowboarding. 2. the beginning of a snow angel. 3. snow angel. 4. snow friends
Saturday, January 06, 2007
God Wants Me Where?!
12/30/06
Having passion for life is so important. I have recently found myself seeking out God and what His passion is for my life more fervently than ever before. I love kids and I love ministry. I find myself longing so much to be in ministry full-time. Don’t get me wrong, I truly enjoy being a teacher, but I wonder if there is more for my life.
I just finished the book Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper (I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to dig into a deeper relationship with Jesus). There was one particular paragraph that spoke straight to my heart and I want to share it with you:
“Many of you are simply not satisfied with what you are doing. As J. Campbell White said, the out put of your lives is not satisfying your deepest spiritual ambitions. We must be careful here. Every job has its discouragements and its seasons of darkness. We must not interpret such experiences automatically as a call to leave our post. But if the discontent with your present situation is deep, recurrent, and lasting, and if that discontent grows in Bible-saturated soil, God may be calling you to a new work. If, in your discontent, you long to be holy, to walk pleasing to the Lord, and to magnify Christ with your one, brief life, then God may indeed be loosening your roots in order to transplant you to a place and a ministry where the deep spiritual ambitions of your soul can be satisfied. It is true that God can be known and enjoyed in every legitimate vocation; but when he deploys you from one place to the next, he offers fresh and deeper drinking at the fountain of his fellowship. God seldom calls us to an easier life, but always calls us to know more of him and drink more deeply of his sustaining grace.”
I don’t doubt for a minute that God has me right where He wants me to be. But at the same time I wonder where this longing for ministry is coming from. I will be the last person to say that I am “gifted” in teaching kids. Yes, I feel it is something I do well, but gifted is not what comes to mind.
So, what am I saying . . . I guess I want to encourage those of you who feel pulled in a different direction than you thought you would be headed - it is scary, but you are not in control of your life (and it‘s a good thing). I can honestly say that when I gave my life to Christ 9 years ago, I never dreamed that God would put a calling on my heart to be in ministry. I can also tell you that when I laid my plans aside and dove into ministry, God impacted me in ways that I could have never imagined.
Where is God pulling you? Maybe you have heard HIS call, answered it, and are right where God has planned for you to be. Maybe you have heard a call and haven’t answered it. Maybe you are hearing something right now . . . will you let God be God and take you where He wants you? I’ll be praying for you.
“Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2
Having passion for life is so important. I have recently found myself seeking out God and what His passion is for my life more fervently than ever before. I love kids and I love ministry. I find myself longing so much to be in ministry full-time. Don’t get me wrong, I truly enjoy being a teacher, but I wonder if there is more for my life.
I just finished the book Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper (I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to dig into a deeper relationship with Jesus). There was one particular paragraph that spoke straight to my heart and I want to share it with you:
“Many of you are simply not satisfied with what you are doing. As J. Campbell White said, the out put of your lives is not satisfying your deepest spiritual ambitions. We must be careful here. Every job has its discouragements and its seasons of darkness. We must not interpret such experiences automatically as a call to leave our post. But if the discontent with your present situation is deep, recurrent, and lasting, and if that discontent grows in Bible-saturated soil, God may be calling you to a new work. If, in your discontent, you long to be holy, to walk pleasing to the Lord, and to magnify Christ with your one, brief life, then God may indeed be loosening your roots in order to transplant you to a place and a ministry where the deep spiritual ambitions of your soul can be satisfied. It is true that God can be known and enjoyed in every legitimate vocation; but when he deploys you from one place to the next, he offers fresh and deeper drinking at the fountain of his fellowship. God seldom calls us to an easier life, but always calls us to know more of him and drink more deeply of his sustaining grace.”
I don’t doubt for a minute that God has me right where He wants me to be. But at the same time I wonder where this longing for ministry is coming from. I will be the last person to say that I am “gifted” in teaching kids. Yes, I feel it is something I do well, but gifted is not what comes to mind.
So, what am I saying . . . I guess I want to encourage those of you who feel pulled in a different direction than you thought you would be headed - it is scary, but you are not in control of your life (and it‘s a good thing). I can honestly say that when I gave my life to Christ 9 years ago, I never dreamed that God would put a calling on my heart to be in ministry. I can also tell you that when I laid my plans aside and dove into ministry, God impacted me in ways that I could have never imagined.
Where is God pulling you? Maybe you have heard HIS call, answered it, and are right where God has planned for you to be. Maybe you have heard a call and haven’t answered it. Maybe you are hearing something right now . . . will you let God be God and take you where He wants you? I’ll be praying for you.
“Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2
Faith In Action
The following is something I had written a while ago. I was reading through it and realized that it needs to be shared - with whom I am not sure (maybe it’s you). Maybe I read it to share it with myself. No matter what the reason, it is here to be read. May God bless you today and remind you of who He is and how much He desires you to put your faith in Him.
September 13, 2003
“Your faith is nothing unless you use it.” (Steve Lotter-friend from RZ)
This really made me think about MY faith. How do I use my faith? The realization that I had tonight is that I don’t use my faith all of the time. I use it when it is convenient and easy. I think to myself: did Jesus only act as God wanted him to when it was convenient for Jesus? Of course not! If he had done that, would God’s will have been fulfilled? NO!!! Jesus came to be the perfect example of a life that is pleasing to God in EVERY way - not just when Jesus wanted to be pleasing. As I think of that it makes me realize that my life is not always pleasing to God. I use the same old excuse “I’m human and I can’t possibly live up to God’s expectations for me”. The problem with that attitude is that it keeps me from pushing myself to do what I know I should - it is an evil crutch and I know that it holds me back.
So, what am I going to do with this revelation from God? I want to say that I have it all figured out, but I know that it is not for me to figure out. God knows what He wants me to do and I need to unclog my ears and listen to the beautiful voice of my Father. I need to put my fears aside - look at how He has blessed me already for doing that! Why is it so hard to be fearless when I hear the voice of God? Part of me has trouble discerning if it is God and part of me wants to convince myself that it isn’t God just so I don’t have to do what he is asking of me. It is a total attitude thing. I need to realize that the things God is asking of me are privileges from GOD! He would not lead me to do something that I am not fully prepared for. That preparation needs to consist of serious prayer and FAITH. And not just saying that I have the faith that it takes, but believing with all that I am and putting that faith to use. I think of how many times my faith has consisted of empty words and I am ashamed of myself. In no way did I lift up God’s name. The only real thing that I accomplished was to make myself look foolish and degrade God. How wretched.
If you are feeling this way or have ever felt like this, I invite you to pray the following prayer. Read it and take to heart the words. It has been my prayer many times, and I open it to you.
Abba Father, I thank you so much for who you are. I thank you that no matter how badly I screw up and make a fool of myself you are there to put me back on the right track. I am a sinful person and I know that you have spent so much of my life on the bottom of my priority list. God I am confessing that this will no longer be. I want to keep you at the head of my life, above all else! I want to live every minute of my days for you, thinking of you, praising you with my life. I pray that you give me the strength and guidance that I know only you are capable to do. Please pick me up when I stumble and let me know that you are always there. Help me keep my eyes focused 100% on you 100% of my time. I cannot fathom your reasons for choosing me, but I know that you have plans for me. I open my heart up to what you have for me to do. Please speak to me in a clear way Father. Lead me in your ways. I want to be the person that you intend me to be. I want to follow Christ in every way of my life. I know that I can do none of this on my own. So, I ask that you fill me with your awesome strength and power, allowing me to do things only through your will.
Thank you so much for sending your Son to be the perfect example. Thank you for using him to give me a second chance and eternal grace. I pray all these things in Jesus’ name. Amen
1 Cor. 15:17 - And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.
Galatians 5:6 - The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
1 Thessalonians 1:8-9 - The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia-your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God . . .
September 13, 2003
“Your faith is nothing unless you use it.” (Steve Lotter-friend from RZ)
This really made me think about MY faith. How do I use my faith? The realization that I had tonight is that I don’t use my faith all of the time. I use it when it is convenient and easy. I think to myself: did Jesus only act as God wanted him to when it was convenient for Jesus? Of course not! If he had done that, would God’s will have been fulfilled? NO!!! Jesus came to be the perfect example of a life that is pleasing to God in EVERY way - not just when Jesus wanted to be pleasing. As I think of that it makes me realize that my life is not always pleasing to God. I use the same old excuse “I’m human and I can’t possibly live up to God’s expectations for me”. The problem with that attitude is that it keeps me from pushing myself to do what I know I should - it is an evil crutch and I know that it holds me back.
So, what am I going to do with this revelation from God? I want to say that I have it all figured out, but I know that it is not for me to figure out. God knows what He wants me to do and I need to unclog my ears and listen to the beautiful voice of my Father. I need to put my fears aside - look at how He has blessed me already for doing that! Why is it so hard to be fearless when I hear the voice of God? Part of me has trouble discerning if it is God and part of me wants to convince myself that it isn’t God just so I don’t have to do what he is asking of me. It is a total attitude thing. I need to realize that the things God is asking of me are privileges from GOD! He would not lead me to do something that I am not fully prepared for. That preparation needs to consist of serious prayer and FAITH. And not just saying that I have the faith that it takes, but believing with all that I am and putting that faith to use. I think of how many times my faith has consisted of empty words and I am ashamed of myself. In no way did I lift up God’s name. The only real thing that I accomplished was to make myself look foolish and degrade God. How wretched.
If you are feeling this way or have ever felt like this, I invite you to pray the following prayer. Read it and take to heart the words. It has been my prayer many times, and I open it to you.
Abba Father, I thank you so much for who you are. I thank you that no matter how badly I screw up and make a fool of myself you are there to put me back on the right track. I am a sinful person and I know that you have spent so much of my life on the bottom of my priority list. God I am confessing that this will no longer be. I want to keep you at the head of my life, above all else! I want to live every minute of my days for you, thinking of you, praising you with my life. I pray that you give me the strength and guidance that I know only you are capable to do. Please pick me up when I stumble and let me know that you are always there. Help me keep my eyes focused 100% on you 100% of my time. I cannot fathom your reasons for choosing me, but I know that you have plans for me. I open my heart up to what you have for me to do. Please speak to me in a clear way Father. Lead me in your ways. I want to be the person that you intend me to be. I want to follow Christ in every way of my life. I know that I can do none of this on my own. So, I ask that you fill me with your awesome strength and power, allowing me to do things only through your will.
Thank you so much for sending your Son to be the perfect example. Thank you for using him to give me a second chance and eternal grace. I pray all these things in Jesus’ name. Amen
1 Cor. 15:17 - And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.
Galatians 5:6 - The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.
1 Thessalonians 1:8-9 - The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia-your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God . . .
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
Coming soon
Hey all! I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgot to post. I have 2 news posts that should be up in the next week. I am trying to get my home computer to cooperate with me so that I can post them. I didn't stop blogging, just haven't had the most time (even with Christmas break in there).
Love to all!
Love to all!
Thursday, November 02, 2006
Shout out
I have never used my blog for this, but I want the world to know how blessed I feel. I want to give a shout out to a very dear friend of mine, Darcy.
For those of you who know Darcy, this will come as no surprise to you. For those of you who don't know Darcy, I pray that you have someone in your life like her.
Darcy has a HUGE heart! Sometimes I wonder how her petite body can hold such a huge heart. I had a terrible day yesterday, and was at my wits end. I had dealt with a woman who lacks in the heart region and decided to unload on me. This is a woman whom I was doing some business with as well, and she was completely out-of-line with her behavior. I left the place in tears and anger and pure frustration. I didn't know what to do, so I called Darcy.
Darcy was so calm, reassuring, and understanding. I was mad because I didn't handle myself in a "Christ-following" way. Darcy offered words of comfort - I am sure the words were straight from Jesus. I was saddened by the crudeness of the woman I had just dealt with. Darcy assured me that it was not my fault, I had done no wrong.
As I was trying to go to sleep last night, I was replaying the whole afternoon in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided to pray. My prayer wasn't that God would punish the crude woman I dealt with. It wasn't that he would make the hurting stop. It wasn't even prayer for a solution to my new dilema. My prayer was a prayer of humble thanks. Thanks for providing me with Darcy.
I pray that each of you has a "Darcy" in your lives. If you do, make sure they know how important they are.
Darcy, YOU ARE A HUGE BLESSING! This is my "shout out" to you! I love ya lots!
For those of you who know Darcy, this will come as no surprise to you. For those of you who don't know Darcy, I pray that you have someone in your life like her.
Darcy has a HUGE heart! Sometimes I wonder how her petite body can hold such a huge heart. I had a terrible day yesterday, and was at my wits end. I had dealt with a woman who lacks in the heart region and decided to unload on me. This is a woman whom I was doing some business with as well, and she was completely out-of-line with her behavior. I left the place in tears and anger and pure frustration. I didn't know what to do, so I called Darcy.
Darcy was so calm, reassuring, and understanding. I was mad because I didn't handle myself in a "Christ-following" way. Darcy offered words of comfort - I am sure the words were straight from Jesus. I was saddened by the crudeness of the woman I had just dealt with. Darcy assured me that it was not my fault, I had done no wrong.
As I was trying to go to sleep last night, I was replaying the whole afternoon in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided to pray. My prayer wasn't that God would punish the crude woman I dealt with. It wasn't that he would make the hurting stop. It wasn't even prayer for a solution to my new dilema. My prayer was a prayer of humble thanks. Thanks for providing me with Darcy.
I pray that each of you has a "Darcy" in your lives. If you do, make sure they know how important they are.
Darcy, YOU ARE A HUGE BLESSING! This is my "shout out" to you! I love ya lots!
Sunday, October 08, 2006
Hanging with Jesus
I must put this disclaimer on here: There are 2 spots where I was going to put pictures in, but my computer is not cooperating. I have had this ready to post for 2 weeks, but I wanted to put the pictures with it. So I appologize for there not being any pictures and I will try to get them on here as soon as my computer lets me.
Wow! Long time, no write. I have really been slacking. I have been slacking in more than just my blogging, but I am getting back together and motivated. I have had lots on my heart to share I just haven't shared for a while. So, today I am going to take some time and tell you about a thought-changing experience I had this summer.
I went to a camp with my youth kids called Jungle Jump Off. It is a missions camp that is part of Wycliffe. We spent a week in the woods camping, cooking, working, and learning about the ministry of Bible translation. We also engaged in several team building activities.
One of the most challenging activities was a high ropes course. It is a challenge course that is 45 feet off the ground with 9 obstacles to complete. This is a huge challenge for someone who is scared to death of heights. My goal was to climb up the first pole and rapel down. I had agreed to be partners with my best friend who went up before me and and was waiting for me on a rope walk. Well, I made it up, cried all the way, tried to quit a few times, but I couldn't disappoint Karissa. We went through the first 2 obstacles together - they were partner work. The next 2 obstacles were individual. I really started to notice the spiritual aspect of the whole thing. Each obstacle began with a 1.5 foot drop down to a rope or swinging aparatus. It took faith: faith to step down, faith that the rope would hold, faith that your safety line would hold if you fell. I truly began to see a correlation between this ropes course and my spiritual walk. How many times do I approach an obstacle that seems impossible? How much faith does it take to walk forward despite the challenge that lies ahead?
The third obstacle was my breaking point. It was swings these swings (INSERT PICTURE). I had to step out onto it. To do that, I had to pull the swing to me, meaning that it would swing out as soon as I stepped. AFter 10-15 minutes of crying and yelling and doubting, I stepped . . . . . . . . and I fell! So, there I am hanging, angry, exhausted, and ready to give up (not caring about the line of people behind me). I was convinced that I was giong to have to have a crane come and get me down because I could not get up. So, I proceeded to just hang there (INSERT PICTURE). I was so angry with God for sending me to the camp, to the ropes course, and mostly for letting me fall. I layed there and argued with Jesus. I could not believe he let me fall like that! I didn't know what else to do so I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed ( for those of you who know me, you can get a good mental picture of this).
Then I heard it . . . . . . a fatherly voice, very stern, "How many times have you fallen in your walk with me? How many times have I left you there to fend for yourself? What happens when you ask for help? Why aren't you asking and BELIEVING?" So, I asked, "Jesus, please help me get back on my feet." Before I knew it, I was standing on the swing. I finished the swings and rapelled down. (I didn't do the whole course because my knee was telling me no more).
I cried to hard when my feet hit the ground. The emotions are hard to describe: exhaustion, happiness, fear, brokenness. Jesus spoke to me through the course. He showed me that I am never alone. First, he is always there to catch me - my safety line. Second, he provides intimate relationships to encourage me - like Karissa. Third, he is ready to pick me up if I would just ask.
With all of that being said, do you find yourself carrying your load or are you hanging with Jesus? Try it. Let me know how it goes.
Wow! Long time, no write. I have really been slacking. I have been slacking in more than just my blogging, but I am getting back together and motivated. I have had lots on my heart to share I just haven't shared for a while. So, today I am going to take some time and tell you about a thought-changing experience I had this summer.
I went to a camp with my youth kids called Jungle Jump Off. It is a missions camp that is part of Wycliffe. We spent a week in the woods camping, cooking, working, and learning about the ministry of Bible translation. We also engaged in several team building activities.
One of the most challenging activities was a high ropes course. It is a challenge course that is 45 feet off the ground with 9 obstacles to complete. This is a huge challenge for someone who is scared to death of heights. My goal was to climb up the first pole and rapel down. I had agreed to be partners with my best friend who went up before me and and was waiting for me on a rope walk. Well, I made it up, cried all the way, tried to quit a few times, but I couldn't disappoint Karissa. We went through the first 2 obstacles together - they were partner work. The next 2 obstacles were individual. I really started to notice the spiritual aspect of the whole thing. Each obstacle began with a 1.5 foot drop down to a rope or swinging aparatus. It took faith: faith to step down, faith that the rope would hold, faith that your safety line would hold if you fell. I truly began to see a correlation between this ropes course and my spiritual walk. How many times do I approach an obstacle that seems impossible? How much faith does it take to walk forward despite the challenge that lies ahead?
The third obstacle was my breaking point. It was swings these swings (INSERT PICTURE). I had to step out onto it. To do that, I had to pull the swing to me, meaning that it would swing out as soon as I stepped. AFter 10-15 minutes of crying and yelling and doubting, I stepped . . . . . . . . and I fell! So, there I am hanging, angry, exhausted, and ready to give up (not caring about the line of people behind me). I was convinced that I was giong to have to have a crane come and get me down because I could not get up. So, I proceeded to just hang there (INSERT PICTURE). I was so angry with God for sending me to the camp, to the ropes course, and mostly for letting me fall. I layed there and argued with Jesus. I could not believe he let me fall like that! I didn't know what else to do so I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed ( for those of you who know me, you can get a good mental picture of this).
Then I heard it . . . . . . a fatherly voice, very stern, "How many times have you fallen in your walk with me? How many times have I left you there to fend for yourself? What happens when you ask for help? Why aren't you asking and BELIEVING?" So, I asked, "Jesus, please help me get back on my feet." Before I knew it, I was standing on the swing. I finished the swings and rapelled down. (I didn't do the whole course because my knee was telling me no more).
I cried to hard when my feet hit the ground. The emotions are hard to describe: exhaustion, happiness, fear, brokenness. Jesus spoke to me through the course. He showed me that I am never alone. First, he is always there to catch me - my safety line. Second, he provides intimate relationships to encourage me - like Karissa. Third, he is ready to pick me up if I would just ask.
With all of that being said, do you find yourself carrying your load or are you hanging with Jesus? Try it. Let me know how it goes.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
The Love of God
The love of God . . . . . .
This is something I have always struggled to understand. I've read scripture that describes this, but never has it seemed to sink in - until this morning.
I am at a camp with my youth group and I am learning so much. In my quite times God has been bombarding me with his love and the scripture that speaks his love to me. I want to share with you my journal from this morning. I pray that God's love will dig into your heart!
"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace." Song of Songs 4:9
Lord, your words are so beautiful. God you eloquently describe and portray your love for me in a way that I have never known. Jesus, I am beginning to understand the depth of your love. I have never been loved like this and this is just the beginning. Lord, I want you to be the ove of my life, my protector. I wan our love to be more intimate than anything I have ever known! I ask that your love that is shown to me is so evident! I pray that when you are loving me, I would know it is you without a doubt. And Jesus I don't want to keep that love to myself. I want to be so over-flowing with your love that it is passed on to others.
This is something I have always struggled to understand. I've read scripture that describes this, but never has it seemed to sink in - until this morning.
I am at a camp with my youth group and I am learning so much. In my quite times God has been bombarding me with his love and the scripture that speaks his love to me. I want to share with you my journal from this morning. I pray that God's love will dig into your heart!
"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace." Song of Songs 4:9
Lord, your words are so beautiful. God you eloquently describe and portray your love for me in a way that I have never known. Jesus, I am beginning to understand the depth of your love. I have never been loved like this and this is just the beginning. Lord, I want you to be the ove of my life, my protector. I wan our love to be more intimate than anything I have ever known! I ask that your love that is shown to me is so evident! I pray that when you are loving me, I would know it is you without a doubt. And Jesus I don't want to keep that love to myself. I want to be so over-flowing with your love that it is passed on to others.
(this is my prayer, let it be yours too)
I love you Lord
and I lift my voice [heart, love]
to worship you
oh my soul, rejoice!
take joy MY KING
in what you hear
may it be a sweet sound
in your ear.
Amen
Wednesday, May 10, 2006
Encouraged
It was another busy, but fun, weekend as usual. I went to my mom's Mother Daughter Brunch at her church. It was great to see my mom so happy and proud to be there with her daughter and I know the weekend meant so much to her. There was a guest singer there, Ken Strong, who shared some music and a little bit of his testimony. I was totally encouraged just from listening to his music that praised Jesus and to hear part of his testimony. He talked about how he struggles with being single and that he has gone through times when he is upset with God about it. It was encouraging to know that I am not the only one that struggles with that. At the same time, I was encouraged to see him praise a LIVING GOD as a real person.
So many times we try to put up a front that we are alright. I know I do this a lot because I don't want people to see the real me. Well, it never fails that God will ask me to share a testimony - talking to youth, asking for prayer, falling face down at the feet of Jesus and spilling out my life. And God did just that at youth group Sunday night.
Our youth are studying tea book of John and I was privileged to teach John 11 Sunday night. If you don't' know that chapter, it is when Jesus raised Lazarus from tea dead. I hit the message hard by asking, "how does it feel when someone close to you dies? Why is it so hard when someone dies?" I had tea kids write down their answers. We shared and again I was encouraged. Before me sat 13 teenagers and 2 adults. They shared some tough feelings and some very personal thoughts. It was encouraging because they didn't hold back. They put themselves out there to be real.
As we discussed John 11 I had the kids answer another question, "How do you feel knowing that Jesus died for you?" The answers were rather different than the other questions. This question brought excitement and happiness to the kids. Why shouldn't it? Jesus made it possible for us to spend eternity with him. However, WE are tea reason that he had to suffer. Our sins nailed him to the cross. Our ugliness flogged and ripped his flesh. Our mouths hurled insults at him. But the cool thing is that HIS LOVE saves us from what we deserve.
I was totally encouraged by the lesson. I know that the words were meant for me to hear too. Jesus loves us and wants to show himself to us. We need to look for him in the big things and tea little things. We need to expect GOD-sized things to happen and not be disappointed when the little things don't happen. Mary and Martha were angry that Jesus didn't come to Lazarus right away and heal a sick man. Jesus waited to raise a dead man. That is something that is encouraging.
So many times I ask for things and wait and wait and wait yet nothing ever seems to happen. Maybe Jesus wants to do something bigger than I have asked. How encouraging is that - Jesus wants to "WOW" me! The questions is, do I want to be wowed by Jesus? I think I do ............................................... do you?
So many times we try to put up a front that we are alright. I know I do this a lot because I don't want people to see the real me. Well, it never fails that God will ask me to share a testimony - talking to youth, asking for prayer, falling face down at the feet of Jesus and spilling out my life. And God did just that at youth group Sunday night.
Our youth are studying tea book of John and I was privileged to teach John 11 Sunday night. If you don't' know that chapter, it is when Jesus raised Lazarus from tea dead. I hit the message hard by asking, "how does it feel when someone close to you dies? Why is it so hard when someone dies?" I had tea kids write down their answers. We shared and again I was encouraged. Before me sat 13 teenagers and 2 adults. They shared some tough feelings and some very personal thoughts. It was encouraging because they didn't hold back. They put themselves out there to be real.
As we discussed John 11 I had the kids answer another question, "How do you feel knowing that Jesus died for you?" The answers were rather different than the other questions. This question brought excitement and happiness to the kids. Why shouldn't it? Jesus made it possible for us to spend eternity with him. However, WE are tea reason that he had to suffer. Our sins nailed him to the cross. Our ugliness flogged and ripped his flesh. Our mouths hurled insults at him. But the cool thing is that HIS LOVE saves us from what we deserve.
I was totally encouraged by the lesson. I know that the words were meant for me to hear too. Jesus loves us and wants to show himself to us. We need to look for him in the big things and tea little things. We need to expect GOD-sized things to happen and not be disappointed when the little things don't happen. Mary and Martha were angry that Jesus didn't come to Lazarus right away and heal a sick man. Jesus waited to raise a dead man. That is something that is encouraging.
So many times I ask for things and wait and wait and wait yet nothing ever seems to happen. Maybe Jesus wants to do something bigger than I have asked. How encouraging is that - Jesus wants to "WOW" me! The questions is, do I want to be wowed by Jesus? I think I do ............................................... do you?
Monday, May 01, 2006
Hungry
I sang in the worship band at church yesterday. It was great as always, but God totally kicked me square in the hind parts during one particular song. What I am about to share is totally from the Lord and it was an amazing experience (once I quit arguing with him) to share this at church yesterday.
I was singing the song Hungry. The chorus goes like this: "I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me. Jesus, you're all this heart is longing for." The Lord totally spoke straight to my heart about Mary Magdelene washing the feet of Jesus with expensive perfume and wiping his feet with her hair.
"Then Mary to about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feeet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume." John 12:3
I kept hearing God telling me to share this, but in my stubborness I ignored him. It got to the point that I could barely focus on the words I was singing - this is a song I have led countless times too! We came to an instrumental break and I picked up some shakers to play. Well, in the most audible voice I heard, "Do not ignore me right now!" I listened. I picked up my Bible and told my friend, Tomir, to keep playing. I had a scripture to share.
I searched for the scripture, not knowing exactly where it was, and finally found it. What happened next was totally the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I know this only because it spoke directly to my heart and that just doesn't happen on a person's own account. This is what I learned through the scripture:
We NEED to bring everything to the feet of Jesus. We need to bring our most prized posessions and pour them on the feet of Jesus, regardless of what everyone else will think of us. Jesus deserves our everything. We need to touch him with our tangled messes. More than anything, we need to humble ourselves before the Lord every day, and understand that we are not capable of being in charge.
I leave you with this thought. Will you put yourself at the feet of Jesus? Are you willing to give him the good, bad, and ugly? Will you let him have all of you?
In Christ, Dina
I was singing the song Hungry. The chorus goes like this: "I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me. Jesus, you're all this heart is longing for." The Lord totally spoke straight to my heart about Mary Magdelene washing the feet of Jesus with expensive perfume and wiping his feet with her hair.
"Then Mary to about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feeet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume." John 12:3
I kept hearing God telling me to share this, but in my stubborness I ignored him. It got to the point that I could barely focus on the words I was singing - this is a song I have led countless times too! We came to an instrumental break and I picked up some shakers to play. Well, in the most audible voice I heard, "Do not ignore me right now!" I listened. I picked up my Bible and told my friend, Tomir, to keep playing. I had a scripture to share.
I searched for the scripture, not knowing exactly where it was, and finally found it. What happened next was totally the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I know this only because it spoke directly to my heart and that just doesn't happen on a person's own account. This is what I learned through the scripture:
We NEED to bring everything to the feet of Jesus. We need to bring our most prized posessions and pour them on the feet of Jesus, regardless of what everyone else will think of us. Jesus deserves our everything. We need to touch him with our tangled messes. More than anything, we need to humble ourselves before the Lord every day, and understand that we are not capable of being in charge.
I leave you with this thought. Will you put yourself at the feet of Jesus? Are you willing to give him the good, bad, and ugly? Will you let him have all of you?
In Christ, Dina
Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Passion
(I actually journaled this post on April 14, 2006 )
passion: 1 a strong emotion, as hate, love, etc. 2 an object of strong emotion
I just finshed watching The Passion of the Christ, the movie written and directed by Mel Gibson. My church, Red Zone Christian Church, showed it tonight. As I was viewing this movie for the third time, I had a strong desire to understand the true passion that Christ reveiled in his final hours before enduring the cross.
So many times, to talk about passion might come from watching a movie with an intense love story (The Notebook comes to mind). It may involve a mighty, heart-wrenching battle (Braveheart, Lord of the Rings). It may also be an intense sports story where the underdog makes for an amazing "Cinderella story" (Rudy, Glory Road). I have even heard a husband or wife speak with passion about his/her spouse. We see demonstrations on the evening news where people are "passionate" supporting or protesting the latest political news. But, none of these seemed to compare to the true passion that Jesus Christ showed the world almost 2000 years ago.
Being a young christian (I began my personal relationship with Jesus 8 years ago), I found myself still wondering, "God, wasn't there any other way to save sinners?" I have read the accounts of Jesus' last week, last hours, his ministry and have never been impacted the way I was tonight. Seeing the Savior of my soul beaten, spat on, whipped, flogged, mocked, hated, and finally crucified made me realize just how ugly sin is! My stomach is still churning as I write this and begin to understand, more, the true passion of Jesus.
In Luke 22:44 it says, "And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." Jesus prayed to God that if there was any other way to save the world to please do it. BUT, more than that, Jesus wanted to submit to the will of his Father. His prayer was so intense that some commentaries will say blood dripped from him due to the level of stress and spiritual warfare that was going on. Jesus sweat blood for me and you! My prayers rarely bring a tear to my eye (and I'm emotional)! Why don't we pray with a passion for the Lord? He is our example and he prayed with a PASSION for each and every one of us. Don't we owe it to God, our Creator, to pray with passion and believe that he is the great I AM?
I look at the definitions of passion (at the beginning of this post) and realize two things. #1 - I need to have a passion for serving Christ and loving others. At the same time, I need to passionately hate satan and be aware of his schemes. #2 - I need to make Jesus, his word, walking in the Spirit my daily passion. How can this be done? I ask myself this and know that i will fail - no matter how much I desire these things for my life, I will fail at times . . . Why? . . . Because I am a sinner and I am selfish.
BUT (this is the great part) Jesus paid my price. And more than that, He came back to life. HE IS ALIVE! And Jesus is seated with God in Heaven waiting for us to come home. If I confess daily and make a choice to follow him and ask for his forgiveness, His blood makes me clean in the eyes of God. Romans 10:9 says, "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." We can eat at the Master's table for eternity!
If you are reading this and want to know more about the passion that I am talking about, read the book of John in the Bible. If that doesn't cut it or you don't have a Bible, visit www.therz.com. There is some great material there about what it means to be a christian. If you are reading this and realizing that you are lacking in your walk with Christ, I challenge you to ask yourself, "What am I passionate about? What is my passion?" If you aren't in line with Jesus, you need to do some serious re-evaluating.
Jesus is ready for you! He desires you more than a love story, battle, or winning a game. He wants you to be HIS Cinderella story! Will you let it happen?
passion: 1 a strong emotion, as hate, love, etc. 2 an object of strong emotion
I just finshed watching The Passion of the Christ, the movie written and directed by Mel Gibson. My church, Red Zone Christian Church, showed it tonight. As I was viewing this movie for the third time, I had a strong desire to understand the true passion that Christ reveiled in his final hours before enduring the cross.
So many times, to talk about passion might come from watching a movie with an intense love story (The Notebook comes to mind). It may involve a mighty, heart-wrenching battle (Braveheart, Lord of the Rings). It may also be an intense sports story where the underdog makes for an amazing "Cinderella story" (Rudy, Glory Road). I have even heard a husband or wife speak with passion about his/her spouse. We see demonstrations on the evening news where people are "passionate" supporting or protesting the latest political news. But, none of these seemed to compare to the true passion that Jesus Christ showed the world almost 2000 years ago.
Being a young christian (I began my personal relationship with Jesus 8 years ago), I found myself still wondering, "God, wasn't there any other way to save sinners?" I have read the accounts of Jesus' last week, last hours, his ministry and have never been impacted the way I was tonight. Seeing the Savior of my soul beaten, spat on, whipped, flogged, mocked, hated, and finally crucified made me realize just how ugly sin is! My stomach is still churning as I write this and begin to understand, more, the true passion of Jesus.
In Luke 22:44 it says, "And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." Jesus prayed to God that if there was any other way to save the world to please do it. BUT, more than that, Jesus wanted to submit to the will of his Father. His prayer was so intense that some commentaries will say blood dripped from him due to the level of stress and spiritual warfare that was going on. Jesus sweat blood for me and you! My prayers rarely bring a tear to my eye (and I'm emotional)! Why don't we pray with a passion for the Lord? He is our example and he prayed with a PASSION for each and every one of us. Don't we owe it to God, our Creator, to pray with passion and believe that he is the great I AM?
I look at the definitions of passion (at the beginning of this post) and realize two things. #1 - I need to have a passion for serving Christ and loving others. At the same time, I need to passionately hate satan and be aware of his schemes. #2 - I need to make Jesus, his word, walking in the Spirit my daily passion. How can this be done? I ask myself this and know that i will fail - no matter how much I desire these things for my life, I will fail at times . . . Why? . . . Because I am a sinner and I am selfish.
BUT (this is the great part) Jesus paid my price. And more than that, He came back to life. HE IS ALIVE! And Jesus is seated with God in Heaven waiting for us to come home. If I confess daily and make a choice to follow him and ask for his forgiveness, His blood makes me clean in the eyes of God. Romans 10:9 says, "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." We can eat at the Master's table for eternity!
If you are reading this and want to know more about the passion that I am talking about, read the book of John in the Bible. If that doesn't cut it or you don't have a Bible, visit www.therz.com. There is some great material there about what it means to be a christian. If you are reading this and realizing that you are lacking in your walk with Christ, I challenge you to ask yourself, "What am I passionate about? What is my passion?" If you aren't in line with Jesus, you need to do some serious re-evaluating.
Jesus is ready for you! He desires you more than a love story, battle, or winning a game. He wants you to be HIS Cinderella story! Will you let it happen?
I'm back. . .
After slightly ignoring God (okay since my last post) and fighting with my computer, I am back. God and I have had some great chats over the last few months about what it means to be a servant: both to others and of God. A busy schedule is not an excuse, and I have tried to make that my excuse as to why my blog hasn't been updated. There is simply no other reason beyond the fact that I have withheld sharing all that God has placed on my heart to share. So, my next few posts will be some "catching up" on the things God pushed me to share and I ignored (at least the sharing part). The post that is titled "Passion" will be most recent and I will update from there. My sincerest appologies to you all, but most of all to God for being selfish.
I hope you all have a blessed day and grow closer to the Lord Jesus Christ!
I hope you all have a blessed day and grow closer to the Lord Jesus Christ!
Wednesday, February 01, 2006
He Provides
Some of you know that I have been really struggling in my walk lately. I met with my Bible study of high school girls last Friday and it was wonderful just to spend time with them and hear all that God has been doing in their lives. Then, it seemed that we wouldn't be able to meet on our normal night due to schedules. Well, we ended up meeting (just a few of us). I love my girls because God uses them to reach right into my heart. We hung out and talked and had an amazing prayer time together. In the midst of that prayer time I felt so free to be real and just let my emotions pour out of me - all of the sadness and anger and frustrations and questions and happiness - and it felt SUPER good. I never imagined, 2 and a 1/2 years ago, that God would use these girls to touch my life the way HE has.
Also, today, my very best and dearest friend arrived home from a 2 year mission in Zimbabwe. I am ever grateful to our LORD that he has provided me with such a wonderful friend. I just want to praise Him for the love that he has provided this week - HE knew I needed it.
"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others." (2 Cor. 9:8)
Also, today, my very best and dearest friend arrived home from a 2 year mission in Zimbabwe. I am ever grateful to our LORD that he has provided me with such a wonderful friend. I just want to praise Him for the love that he has provided this week - HE knew I needed it.
"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others." (2 Cor. 9:8)
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)