So many times we go through this life as busy as we can possibly be. When we get like this, we miss out on one of the most beautiful voices . . . God. God is talking to each one of us in a way that we can understand. This is my way to share what God is saying to me. I'd love to hear how He is talking to you.
Nope I'm not physically running. Tried that and learned that running is not for me! I pretty much knew this about myself but I can be challenged into trying almost anything. I lost the challenge.
No, the running I'm talking about is running to Jesus.
I have had a new experience in the past month. You see, when life doesn't work out the way I think it should I tend to get angry and run away from God. I listen to the lies that God doesn't care and that I'm not good enough for God and that what I want doesn't matter at all.
But the past month has been much different. In the midst of confusion and hurt and not understanding why things are happening, I found myself running to Jesus! I can't get enough of HIM. HE is what helps me get through each day. HE is teaching me. HE is loving me. HE is revealing things about scripture, about who I am created to be, about time. HE is what I am clinging to.
I don't have the answers that I want. But, I am learning more and more every day that God has the answers that He wants for my life. My only job in all of this is to trust, in faith, that God knows best for me.
I am currently engulfed in our women's Bible study at church: Anointed, Transformed, Redeemed; A Study of David by Priscilla Shirer, Beth Moore, and Kay Arthur. There have been some amazing truths revealed to my heart in all of this....
"If we truly believed the great God of the universe listens intently to the cry of our hearts and responds with power in our circumstances, we would never meet any circumstance without deciding to access the ear of God."
"Whatever your life entails right now - no matter how far removed it seems from what you expected - HE has anointed you and divinely equipped you to not merely handle it but to thrive in it."
"When God does something we don't expect, it can shake our faith and cause distrust."
My faith has been shaken! But I have been awakened! The greatest thing I am learning is that God DOES love me, He DOES have a plan for me, and HE will NEVER leave me.
And through all of this I am able to say, "Praise be to God!"
I received the proverbial slap in the face this past Sunday as I sat in church. The sermon was on the parable of the lost sheep. You know....the one where Jesus asks the shepherds if they would leave 99 sheep to go find a lost one? Yeah, I have been that lost one. I didn't realize it until the sermon began and my ears and heart opened.
You see, I have conveniently placed God on the backburner. I hadn't totally disregarded my relationship with him, but I had made some choices that clearly were not Christ-like. It never fails, at the moment that I make those choices they never seem like a big deal. But let them build and build upon each other and before I know it.....
SLAP!!!!!
That is exactly what happened. I had been emotional, irritable, grouchy, snappy, and weepy. I had no idea why. Then.....
SLAP!!!!!!
Duh...I had not been investing in my relationship with Christ. Nor had I let Christ into some very important aspects of my life. I wanted control. I thought I knew what was best for Dina. I had everything under control. Then.....
SLAP!!!!!
My world changed and I was lost. I had wandered away and was crying out to be rescued. And that is exactly what God did. He rescued me. Right there in that pew on Sunday morning, he spotted me off in the distance. As the day progressed, he moved in closer, never taking his eye off of me. By Sunday evening God had scooped me up and showered me with love. It was the love of the Father that I had desperately missed and didn't realize until that exact moment.
I know that it isn't always easy to make the "good" choice in some moments. I know that choosing Christ goes totally against the world. I know that choosing Christ can sometimes mean that I stand alone.
But I know that choosing Christ pays off in the end, eternally.
I was blessed with an opportunity to be on a director team for a week of camp at Camp Adventure. My role was counseling director. I got to work with 23 counselors and 109 jr high students. I also had the privilege of speaking at morning Hillside worship.
Our theme this year was "Facebook Faith" and was very relevant to the kids.
I want to share the final day with you all. This is the day that impacted me the most in preparation for camp, during camp, and continues to dig in my heart.
The daily theme for Friday was "Friend Suggestions". I have no idea how it impacted the students, counselors, or other directors. I do know that God reached right into my heart and challenged me. I just want to share the message with you all, not knowing who may read this. And my prayer is that you are challenged as well.
So, camp is almost over. You are about to go home. What are you gonna tell people at home about camp? Are you gonna talk about all the fun stuff you did? Will you talk about your cabin? Will you tell about your counselors and directors? Will you tell about the new friendships? Are you going to tell people about Jesus? I know for me, that is usually the last thing I tell people...especially my family. It is so much easier for me to talk about all of the fun stuff verses how my life was impacted by Jesus. Today we are talking about friend suggestions. We have learned about the greatest friend ever this week. Will you suggest HIM to others? In Mark 16:15-16 and Matthew 28:19-20 we are commanded to GO tell the world about Jesus. We aren't told to tell them about the Blob or paintball or high ropes or messy games. We are commanded to GO and tell them "the good news"....that's Jesus. If you go home and never mention what you learned about Jesus, then we did not do the ministry that we, as directors and counselors, we called to do. If you leave camp and didn't see the love of Jesus, then camp was unsuccessful. Jesus is the reason that we are all here. He is the reason that we have this camp. He is the reason for the fun, your cabins, the counselors and directors, and the friendships. Will you go? Will you GO and tell people about Jesus?
I'm challenged! And I took the challenge to heart. I made sure to tell everyone who asked, about my Jesus experience at camp. It was tough! It was toughest when it was my unbelieving family members and friends who knew I was at camp. But I did it!!!!
So, I ask you....Will you GO and tell people about Jesus? Will you tell your family? your friends? your classmates? your co-workers? your wives/husbands? your neighbors? Who in your life needs to know about the friend that you have in Jesus?
Yes, this is the second post in one day! I have gotten pretty behind in my blogging. But there are seasons for everything....including blogging.
If you haven't read my post titled "Daily Love" I am going to ask that you scroll down and read it first. It will help this one make a little more sense.
I have recently begun to believe that I am worthy of pursuit. This has been a HUGE struggle for me for the past 10 years. Bare with me as I share a tad bit of my testimony.....
I have had a few, 3 to be exact, of what I would call "serious" relationships. Two of them were in highschool. One guy I dated on and off for most of highschool. The other I dated for a few months while the other guy and I were on poor terms. The third guy, we'll call him Ted, I dated early in college. We had dated a little while I was in high school, but ended it before I graduated. Well, we got back together soon after I started college. I thought it was the perfect relationship. Ted took me on sweet dates, wrote me love letters, called me, visited me at school, and said nice things to me. Not long into our relationship we got rather physical and didn't set boundaries. Our relationship got the point where the physical aspect seemed expected. The nice things he did and said seemed to have underlying expectations. But, I was convinced that I was going to marry Ted, so I justified it all. Needless to say, we broke up. It was tough. I truly was in love with Ted and was preparing myself to spend my life with him. This sent me seeking out guys for the physical aspect rather than anything else. I thought that was what would make them want me and pursue me. It was all part of my 10 year plan to be married after college, have a family, and find a job.
About 5 years after Ted and I ended alot of the the repressed emotion began to surface. I felt sick about the things I had done and experienced outside of marriage. Praise God for his protection and my virginity (which I am still holding on to at the age of 30)!!!! However, there were walls that went up. Satan began to flood my life with a number of lies.
The biggest lie was that no one would ever want me. No one was ever going to pursue me. No one would ever want to date me. And I believed this......for a long time.
BUT (here comes the great part), God has been teaching me otherwise. And guess what....someone has been pursuing me. And it is wonderful! I wasn't looking for a relationship. I was truly just trying to seek out God each and every day, all while learning more and more to let God love me.
I have been dating someone (who will remain nameless for now) for about 3 weeks. We have been talking for a few months. He constantly encourages me and reminds me that I am totally worth being pursued. It was really tough for me to take at first because satan would twist things and leave me questioning. But I am learning that I am totally worthy of this and I deserve this as a daughter of God. I deserve a person who likes me for me, who encourages my walk with Christ, and who respects me.
I have no idea where this relationship is going. We are just taking one day at a time and enjoying a healthy relationship centered on Christ. It is tough. Satan attacks. The world says we should do things differently. But God is good. He is faithful. And He is in charge. He knows our hearts. And I'm glad that HE has taught me that I am worthy of pursuit!
I can honestly say that I am finally grasping the 2 BIG lessons God has been teaching me over the past year and a half!
It all began when I read the book Captivating by John and Stasi Eldredge 2 years ago. I was in a deep pit and could not seem to find my way out. So I read. And this was the book I read. Over and over and over in this book I felt God telling me that He was ready for me to come to him. He was ready for me to need him. He was ready to love me like I've never been loved. I just didn't quite believe it...
Last March, our women's ministry team held a weekend retreat. We went through Beth Moore's curriculum Loving Well. The main focus of the week was love and the truth that nothing can separate us from the love of God. There were definite walls knocked down, but I still had my doubts.
This past Thanksgiving I went to Texas to visit a very close friend. She had me read Now and Not Yet by Jennifer Marshall. This book added a whole new twist to the love lessons God had been pouring over me. It was about understanding that singleness is just as much a part of God's plan as any other relationship status. And that God wants us to meet him and his love DAILY. The idea of living intentionally every day for God and experiencing His love on a daily basis seemed almost more than I could understand.
Over the past 2 months, these ideas of living each day for Christ and letting His love fuel me have really started to sink in. I cannot pinpoint an exact "ah-ha" moment. But I know that I am getting it. I am beginning to grasp the love that God has for me. I am beginning to see the fruit of living intentionally for God every day that He gives me breath.
Thank you Dr. Karen Doudt (RIP) for teaching me this. It may be the best advice anyone gave me as I headed down the path of being an educator.
This past week has encompassed one of my highest and lowest moments as a teacher.
Wednesday night I received a phone call from a former student's parent. She informed me that a student I had last year may have been involved in a murder. I cannot even begin to explain the pit that developed in my stomach. As the week progressed more details flooded the news and it all became very real. I am still trying to comprehend, but I don't think I ever will. My heart breaks for my former student...not because of what is to come for him, but because he made this choice.
Sunday, I was blessed to witness a current student be baptized! He told me he was getting baptized and asked me to come. I cannot even begin to explain the joy that overwhelmed me. I found someone to teach my Sunday School class and went. He was one of 8, YES EIGHT, people to get baptized (4 of those people are students where I teach). And again, I can't comprehend why I got to be a part of this.
Back to my professor....she was amazing. And she loved kids, she had a passion for teaching. It rubbed off. I have really struggled with the "why" question this week. Why didn't I show more love to a former student? Why did God place a student in my class that would give his life to Christ? Why has God placed a passion for children in my heart? Why does God give kids to people that don't show them the love they deserve? All I can come up with is what my prof said to us.
Love them while you have them.
Isn't this exactly what Jesus calls us to do? Love others. Love them so they know the love of Christ. Love them in a way that feels so good it may actually hurt. Love with all that you have.
Jesus, thank you for the passion to love kids. Thank you that I get to spend so many days/hours/weeks working with kids. May I never forget that they need loved. Help me to love them as you would, despite everything else. Lord, let them never question the love that I have for them. AMEN
This morning's message at church was about trusting God. The scripture was Proverbs 3:1-10. As I listened to the words a familiar passage jumped out at me and really resonated in me...
"Trust in the Lord with all of your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight."
I began to think about those straight paths, those times when I truly know I am following God. Let me be honest...those straight paths are uncomfortable to me. My comfort comes when I feel in control, when my paths aren't always straight. That is where I feel comfortable.
I really started to dig deep in my heart to figure out why God's path is uncomfortable. It is because He is not me (thank goodness). Isaiah 55:8 explains this perfectly; "'For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways', declares the Lord."
God's path is not my path. HIS path is so much better for me. I have to continue to walk on his path so it becomes ever-more familiar to my feet, less uncomfortable for me. This requires work. It requires learning. It requires reading. It requires prayer. It requires some discomfort. But I know that I will get to a point when my path is uncomfortable. I know I will get to a point where God's path feels right 100% of the time. I know that this will happen more and more as I walk with him. I know this because on God's path, I am not alone. He leads the way so there are no surprises....
Do you ever read something in the Word and think, "yeah right! if you only knew what was happening....."?
I just finished going through Philippians with the youth in Sunday school this morning. If you've never read Philippians, YOU SHOULD! Right now, just pick up your Bible and read it. It's only 4 chapters. But those 4 chapters might make you think "yeah right!"
Philippians 4:4 slapped me right across the face this morning. It says, "Rejoice in the Lord always, I will say it again: Rejoice!" The slap was followed with a "yeah right" in my brain. Both might have caused some much needed damage to my though process.
I have a lot going on right now. Praise God I was able to "vacate" my life for a few days and go to Vermont to see a friend. It was wonderful, but my life was right here waiting for me when I got back (imagine that). Then I read that verse this morning and just about screamed.
"Um, God.....HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO FIND JOY IN ALL THESE UNCERTAIN CIRCUMSTANCES THAT SEEM TO BE FLOODING MY LIFE RIGHT NOW?!"
Well, after an hour in the back yard with Linus and Jesus I think I know. My joy comes in knowing that this world is not the end for me. My joy comes in knowing that there is someone paving the way for every step that I take. My joy comes in knowing that there is absolute truth. My joy comes in knowing that despite what today my hold, Christ is going to win in the end.
There are times, seasons where I feel like God is absent. But he is not. He promises to never leave me or forsake me. He has my very best in HIS plan. There is lots of joy in that!
I've been reading through Romans while on Spring Break. I love this book! I love the truth that Paul blatantly puts forth. I love the way Christ is magnified through the word. I love that Paul recognizes the inner knowledge that we do not belong here, on earth.
I have also learned that there is power in reading the Word of God aloud. I have read chapters 3-6 out loud with a friend. I'm blown away by how the Holy Spirit has reached into my heart and shed new light on verses I have read countless times. Here are some verses that really tugged on my heart strings:
6You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. 7Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous man, though for a good man someone might possibly dare to die. 8But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us. (from chapter 5)
God doesn't expect me to be perfect. He doesn't expect me to have all of the answers. He doesn't assume that I am going to live a sin-free life. Before my existence, he sent his Son to die for the crap I would do. He decided long ago that Dina Coverstone needed a chance to be redeemed in order to spend eternity with her Heavenly Father.
11In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus. 12Therefore do not let sin reign in your mortal body so that you obey its evil desires. 13Do not offer the parts of your body to sin, as instruments of wickedness, but rather offer yourselves to God, as those who have been brought from death to life; and offer the parts of your body to him as instruments of righteousness. 14For sin shall not be your master, because you are not under law, but under grace. (from chapter 6)
We are alive. Did you read that carefully? WE ARE ALIVE! Because God loved us, even before the world knew us, he gave us the opportunity to choose life...spiritual life. We are under grace and saved by our faith in that grace. Praise God for that!
I am so grateful for the opportunity to choose Christ. I don't know if/how my life would be different without Him and I don't want to know. I am who I am in Christ. My identity is in Him alone. My life is led by Him and His work. He knows everything about me and has my best in mind. And I am satisfied knowing that.
Linus is now 4 months old. I just took him to the vet tonight....he gets the "snip" first thing in the morning. I thought I would post some pics for everyone. He is super sweet. He is a loyal companion. We go for walks. He knows "sit" "stay" "heal" "go potty" and "Let's go for a ride!"
I truly feel like he has been a blessing. I was starting to get settled and a little lonely this winter in my house. Along came Linus for a deal. Feel free to stop by and see him....he loves to meet new people (and it's good for the training).
