My boys

I have "my boys" and they are amazing boys. It is by the grace of God that my life has been meshed with each one of them. They are between the ages of 17-20. The relationship that I have with each of them makes me laugh because only God would have put them in my life.


I have known Mikey and Matt for a very long time (10 years at least). Tyrus I have known for about 4 years. Austin I have known for a year. This summer our youth group decided to start small groups. Being that there was only 1 male youth sponsor and about 10 guys, I volunteered to take a group of boys. These are the 4 that I ended up with and I couldn't be more privileged to have them in my lives. I look forward to youth group, hanging out with Tyrus and Austin. Mikey and Matt have graduated, but they still call or write or stop by and I love it. It makes me laugh that I am a 26 year old girl and that God placed these 4 boys in my life as accountability peeps.

What a sense of humor God has and how unexpected.


The best thing about these boys is that they are so real with me. They make me be real too and I love it. They call at random times, include me in their lives, and just love me for being Dina. They are a great example of the unconditional love that Christ so graciously poors over each one of us. I look forward to the text messages that I get from them. I love when they leave me comments on myspace.


It hit me hard last Sunday just how blessed I am to have each of them in my life. Our sermon at church was one that hit my heart and Jesus broke me. It was AMAZING! I cried and prayed and praised. The best part was the hugs that I recieved from Mikey and Matt after church. Then, at youth group, Austin blasted me with an amazing hug. Monday night, I got to spend time with Tyrus and it was great! God knows how to reach into my life and he uses my boys rather often.


God has really shown me the ministry that lies with these 4 boys - it reminds me of Jesus. Now, I am in no way calling myself Jesus, but how unlikely were his boys? They were not people that you would expect to be church planters, they were not the most scholarly. But, God had a purpose for them. A purpose that is beyond this world. I take that to heart with my boys. I wonder why God placed them in my life, and He has his ways to remind me.


I ask anyone who reads this: has God placed people in your life and you wonder why? I have no doubt that the relationships God gives us are for HIS kingdom. Are you using those relationships for the kingdom?

God has a way...

Have you ever noticed that God has a way of reminding us that we are totally resting in his hands? I had one of these moments Thursday night. I have been slightly stressed lately - I dislocated my finger a month ago and I am undergoing major dental work. This means lots of money coming out and missing work (which takes money away). So, it has been slightly stressful. I was in serious need of some love and God had that planned.

My dear friend Tim offered to cook dinner for me and some of my college friends. These girls are just about the greatest women I have ever encountered in my 26 years of life. It is totally God that brought us all together in college and He has kept us close for the past 8 years! We all try to get together when we can, but schedules and babies, and families don't always allow for that. However, we found some time to get together and it was wonderful.


As I returned home, I couldn't thank God enough for these amazing friends that he has so graciously blessed me with. We laughed, ate, and relaxed together. It was wonderful to see each of them and my 2 cutiehead neices. Sometimes it is hard to not see each other as often as we did in college. But, it makes the times that we do have together so special.


I have some scripture to share that usually comes to mind when I am with these girls.
Romans 15:7 Accept one another, then, just as Christ accepted you, in order to bring praise to God.
Colossians 3:17 And wahtever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him.


I am reminding each of us, myself included, to remember that God has a way of reminding us, nudging us. We are not alone in this world. There is one relationship that should be placed first and that is our relationship with Jesus Christ. Is God trying to remind you of this? Are you missing out on the reminders?



Picture taken by Tim Stiffler www.timstifflerthephotographer.com

To see the food we ate, click on Jess' link (to the side)

Frustration

I have been frustrated lately. It has taken me a while to write about this too because I don't want to be venting, but I really want to share some lessons I have learned.

I coach 8th girls' basketball. I love the sport. I love the girls. I love teaching this fabulous sport. My team this year is very talented, but I don't think they fully understand just how talented they are.

They haven't played to their full potential this season. Our record is 6-6 (it should be 10-2 or 11-1). The losses have been huge and the wins have been close (all but 2). I stand on the sidelines of each game wondering if the girls are going to play like they can or if they are going to let another game be lost. The worst part of the whole thing is that it is out of my control.

I do my best to teach them the game, to trouble-shoot during games, and strengthen their skills at practice and in games. I aim to teach them to respect the game of basketball, their teammates, coaches, and opponents. No matter how much I show them, encourage them, or help them, I can't determine what they will do when they step on the court to play a game.

It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that I went to God for help, in tears and desperate. I pleaded with him to make them play, to get their heads out of their rears, and to do what I know they are capable of. Guess what God said? Nothing . . . . . . . until Monday.

Monday I was at the dentist (a whole other story). I was there quite a while and had plenty of time to myself. So, I tried to be still and relax and converse with God. I got my answer. That answer comes from the book of Mark. A dear friend of mine had sent this to me a few years ago when I was going through a similar situation.

17A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
19"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." -Mark 9:17-19

Jesus got so frustrated with his disciples. They had seen miracle after miracle and still didn't have the faith to do the work that God had prepared them for. Here were 12 guys that had been closer to Jesus than anyone. They had shared in very intimate parts of Jesus' life, seen miracles, witnessed supernatural occurences and still lacked.

Then I thought, how many times has God been frustrated with me? How many times have I not doen what I am capable of with God as my coach? The answer.......too many. I am sure that God has been frustrated with me when I am not honest about my relationship with him, when I don't stand up for him, when I pass up an opportunity to share my faith with an unbeliever. God can't play the game for me anymore than I can play for my girls.

So, what have I done. Well, I am trying to be more positive. I am trying to trust my girls. I am going at each day of bball with a fresh attitude that I am doing my best as a coach.

I want to encourage you if you are frustrated to stop, pray, and want to understand why you are frustrated. Is it because God doesn't care or because you don't care?

Beauty

Have you ever sat back and been in awe of God? I mean, really been in awe?

This happened to me today. We have been completely blasted with snow over the past 2 days. Unofficial reports say that Syracuse got 8.5-10 inches of snow! That is a lot of snow! I looked out my bathroom window this morning and I couldn't even see the driveway. It was unreal. School had gotten cancelled, so I went back to bed.

Backing up . . . yesterday I was home all day as was my roomie. Once we both found out we didn't have to work today she looked at me and said, "Guess what we should do tomorrow since we don't have to work?" I replied, "Uh, shovel the driveway." Jenn said, "Oh, that too. But I was thinking that we should play in the snow."

So, that is just what we did today! It was wonderful and not really too cold. The wonderful Amos (Jenn's bro-in-law) snowblowed our driveway. Jenn and I shoveled the sidewalk and porch. Then the fun began. We made snow angels, threw snow balls, and Jenn attempted to snowboard in the yard (with no success). She got stuck. I hauled her and board over my shoulder and carried them up the driveway. She boarded down the driveway (twice) and I hauled her up. Then we went for a walk down our street.

The snow was AMAZING! I found myself wondering once again if that snow was dropped just to remind me of the BIG God that I serve. I thought of Chris Tomlin's song, Indescribable. The lyrics say, "Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go? Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?" That is one big God!

I have been down in the dumps alot lately - in my spiritual walk. I feel disconected, uncertain, and lonely. Reading my Bible has not been a high priority, just enough to keep up with the reading that I am doing for Bible study. I haven't felt or seen God's beauty in much of anything.

Thank you Jesus for the snow. Thank you for snowing me in with a great roomie. Thanks for the break to be a lazy bum at home yesterday and enjoy the beautiful roomie that you have blessed me with. Thank you for the snow. Thank you for the moments today to see how BIG you really are. Thank you more than anything for always making yourself known in my life. You are truly a beautiful God.

Here are some snow pictures:1. Jenn snowboarding. 2. the beginning of a snow angel. 3. snow angel. 4. snow friends

God Wants Me Where?!

12/30/06

Having passion for life is so important. I have recently found myself seeking out God and what His passion is for my life more fervently than ever before. I love kids and I love ministry. I find myself longing so much to be in ministry full-time. Don’t get me wrong, I truly enjoy being a teacher, but I wonder if there is more for my life.

I just finished the book Don’t Waste Your Life by John Piper (I highly recommend this to anyone wanting to dig into a deeper relationship with Jesus). There was one particular paragraph that spoke straight to my heart and I want to share it with you:

“Many of you are simply not satisfied with what you are doing. As J. Campbell White said, the out put of your lives is not satisfying your deepest spiritual ambitions. We must be careful here. Every job has its discouragements and its seasons of darkness. We must not interpret such experiences automatically as a call to leave our post. But if the discontent with your present situation is deep, recurrent, and lasting, and if that discontent grows in Bible-saturated soil, God may be calling you to a new work. If, in your discontent, you long to be holy, to walk pleasing to the Lord, and to magnify Christ with your one, brief life, then God may indeed be loosening your roots in order to transplant you to a place and a ministry where the deep spiritual ambitions of your soul can be satisfied. It is true that God can be known and enjoyed in every legitimate vocation; but when he deploys you from one place to the next, he offers fresh and deeper drinking at the fountain of his fellowship. God seldom calls us to an easier life, but always calls us to know more of him and drink more deeply of his sustaining grace.”

I don’t doubt for a minute that God has me right where He wants me to be. But at the same time I wonder where this longing for ministry is coming from. I will be the last person to say that I am “gifted” in teaching kids. Yes, I feel it is something I do well, but gifted is not what comes to mind.

So, what am I saying . . . I guess I want to encourage those of you who feel pulled in a different direction than you thought you would be headed - it is scary, but you are not in control of your life (and it‘s a good thing). I can honestly say that when I gave my life to Christ 9 years ago, I never dreamed that God would put a calling on my heart to be in ministry. I can also tell you that when I laid my plans aside and dove into ministry, God impacted me in ways that I could have never imagined.

Where is God pulling you? Maybe you have heard HIS call, answered it, and are right where God has planned for you to be. Maybe you have heard a call and haven’t answered it. Maybe you are hearing something right now . . . will you let God be God and take you where He wants you? I’ll be praying for you.

“Therefore, I urge you brothers, in view of God’s mercy, to offer your bodies as living sacrifices, holy and pleasing to God - this is your spiritual act of worship. Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is - his good, pleasing and perfect will.” Romans 12:1-2

Faith In Action

The following is something I had written a while ago. I was reading through it and realized that it needs to be shared - with whom I am not sure (maybe it’s you). Maybe I read it to share it with myself. No matter what the reason, it is here to be read. May God bless you today and remind you of who He is and how much He desires you to put your faith in Him.

September 13, 2003
“Your faith is nothing unless you use it.” (Steve Lotter-friend from RZ)

This really made me think about MY faith. How do I use my faith? The realization that I had tonight is that I don’t use my faith all of the time. I use it when it is convenient and easy. I think to myself: did Jesus only act as God wanted him to when it was convenient for Jesus? Of course not! If he had done that, would God’s will have been fulfilled? NO!!! Jesus came to be the perfect example of a life that is pleasing to God in EVERY way - not just when Jesus wanted to be pleasing. As I think of that it makes me realize that my life is not always pleasing to God. I use the same old excuse “I’m human and I can’t possibly live up to God’s expectations for me”. The problem with that attitude is that it keeps me from pushing myself to do what I know I should - it is an evil crutch and I know that it holds me back.

So, what am I going to do with this revelation from God? I want to say that I have it all figured out, but I know that it is not for me to figure out. God knows what He wants me to do and I need to unclog my ears and listen to the beautiful voice of my Father. I need to put my fears aside - look at how He has blessed me already for doing that! Why is it so hard to be fearless when I hear the voice of God? Part of me has trouble discerning if it is God and part of me wants to convince myself that it isn’t God just so I don’t have to do what he is asking of me. It is a total attitude thing. I need to realize that the things God is asking of me are privileges from GOD! He would not lead me to do something that I am not fully prepared for. That preparation needs to consist of serious prayer and FAITH. And not just saying that I have the faith that it takes, but believing with all that I am and putting that faith to use. I think of how many times my faith has consisted of empty words and I am ashamed of myself. In no way did I lift up God’s name. The only real thing that I accomplished was to make myself look foolish and degrade God. How wretched.

If you are feeling this way or have ever felt like this, I invite you to pray the following prayer. Read it and take to heart the words. It has been my prayer many times, and I open it to you.

Abba Father, I thank you so much for who you are. I thank you that no matter how badly I screw up and make a fool of myself you are there to put me back on the right track. I am a sinful person and I know that you have spent so much of my life on the bottom of my priority list. God I am confessing that this will no longer be. I want to keep you at the head of my life, above all else! I want to live every minute of my days for you, thinking of you, praising you with my life. I pray that you give me the strength and guidance that I know only you are capable to do. Please pick me up when I stumble and let me know that you are always there. Help me keep my eyes focused 100% on you 100% of my time. I cannot fathom your reasons for choosing me, but I know that you have plans for me. I open my heart up to what you have for me to do. Please speak to me in a clear way Father. Lead me in your ways. I want to be the person that you intend me to be. I want to follow Christ in every way of my life. I know that I can do none of this on my own. So, I ask that you fill me with your awesome strength and power, allowing me to do things only through your will.
Thank you so much for sending your Son to be the perfect example. Thank you for using him to give me a second chance and eternal grace. I pray all these things in Jesus’ name. Amen



1 Cor. 15:17 - And if Christ has not been raised, your faith is futile; you are still in your sins.

Galatians 5:6 - The only thing that counts is faith expressing itself through love.

1 Thessalonians 1:8-9 - The Lord’s message rang out from you not only in Macedonia and Achaia-your faith in God has become known everywhere. Therefore we do not need to say anything about it, for they themselves report what kind of reception you gave us. They tell how you turned to God from idols to serve the living and true God . . .

Coming soon

Hey all! I just wanted to let you know that I haven't forgot to post. I have 2 news posts that should be up in the next week. I am trying to get my home computer to cooperate with me so that I can post them. I didn't stop blogging, just haven't had the most time (even with Christmas break in there).

Love to all!

Shout out

I have never used my blog for this, but I want the world to know how blessed I feel. I want to give a shout out to a very dear friend of mine, Darcy.

For those of you who know Darcy, this will come as no surprise to you. For those of you who don't know Darcy, I pray that you have someone in your life like her.

Darcy has a HUGE heart! Sometimes I wonder how her petite body can hold such a huge heart. I had a terrible day yesterday, and was at my wits end. I had dealt with a woman who lacks in the heart region and decided to unload on me. This is a woman whom I was doing some business with as well, and she was completely out-of-line with her behavior. I left the place in tears and anger and pure frustration. I didn't know what to do, so I called Darcy.

Darcy was so calm, reassuring, and understanding. I was mad because I didn't handle myself in a "Christ-following" way. Darcy offered words of comfort - I am sure the words were straight from Jesus. I was saddened by the crudeness of the woman I had just dealt with. Darcy assured me that it was not my fault, I had done no wrong.

As I was trying to go to sleep last night, I was replaying the whole afternoon in my head. I couldn't stop thinking about it. I decided to pray. My prayer wasn't that God would punish the crude woman I dealt with. It wasn't that he would make the hurting stop. It wasn't even prayer for a solution to my new dilema. My prayer was a prayer of humble thanks. Thanks for providing me with Darcy.

I pray that each of you has a "Darcy" in your lives. If you do, make sure they know how important they are.

Darcy, YOU ARE A HUGE BLESSING! This is my "shout out" to you! I love ya lots!

Hanging with Jesus

I must put this disclaimer on here: There are 2 spots where I was going to put pictures in, but my computer is not cooperating. I have had this ready to post for 2 weeks, but I wanted to put the pictures with it. So I appologize for there not being any pictures and I will try to get them on here as soon as my computer lets me.

Wow! Long time, no write. I have really been slacking. I have been slacking in more than just my blogging, but I am getting back together and motivated. I have had lots on my heart to share I just haven't shared for a while. So, today I am going to take some time and tell you about a thought-changing experience I had this summer.

I went to a camp with my youth kids called Jungle Jump Off. It is a missions camp that is part of Wycliffe. We spent a week in the woods camping, cooking, working, and learning about the ministry of Bible translation. We also engaged in several team building activities.

One of the most challenging activities was a high ropes course. It is a challenge course that is 45 feet off the ground with 9 obstacles to complete. This is a huge challenge for someone who is scared to death of heights. My goal was to climb up the first pole and rapel down. I had agreed to be partners with my best friend who went up before me and and was waiting for me on a rope walk. Well, I made it up, cried all the way, tried to quit a few times, but I couldn't disappoint Karissa. We went through the first 2 obstacles together - they were partner work. The next 2 obstacles were individual. I really started to notice the spiritual aspect of the whole thing. Each obstacle began with a 1.5 foot drop down to a rope or swinging aparatus. It took faith: faith to step down, faith that the rope would hold, faith that your safety line would hold if you fell. I truly began to see a correlation between this ropes course and my spiritual walk. How many times do I approach an obstacle that seems impossible? How much faith does it take to walk forward despite the challenge that lies ahead?

The third obstacle was my breaking point. It was swings these swings (INSERT PICTURE). I had to step out onto it. To do that, I had to pull the swing to me, meaning that it would swing out as soon as I stepped. AFter 10-15 minutes of crying and yelling and doubting, I stepped . . . . . . . . and I fell! So, there I am hanging, angry, exhausted, and ready to give up (not caring about the line of people behind me). I was convinced that I was giong to have to have a crane come and get me down because I could not get up. So, I proceeded to just hang there (INSERT PICTURE). I was so angry with God for sending me to the camp, to the ropes course, and mostly for letting me fall. I layed there and argued with Jesus. I could not believe he let me fall like that! I didn't know what else to do so I sobbed and sobbed and sobbed ( for those of you who know me, you can get a good mental picture of this).

Then I heard it . . . . . . a fatherly voice, very stern, "How many times have you fallen in your walk with me? How many times have I left you there to fend for yourself? What happens when you ask for help? Why aren't you asking and BELIEVING?" So, I asked, "Jesus, please help me get back on my feet." Before I knew it, I was standing on the swing. I finished the swings and rapelled down. (I didn't do the whole course because my knee was telling me no more).

I cried to hard when my feet hit the ground. The emotions are hard to describe: exhaustion, happiness, fear, brokenness. Jesus spoke to me through the course. He showed me that I am never alone. First, he is always there to catch me - my safety line. Second, he provides intimate relationships to encourage me - like Karissa. Third, he is ready to pick me up if I would just ask.

With all of that being said, do you find yourself carrying your load or are you hanging with Jesus? Try it. Let me know how it goes.

The Love of God

The love of God . . . . . .

This is something I have always struggled to understand. I've read scripture that describes this, but never has it seemed to sink in - until this morning.

I am at a camp with my youth group and I am learning so much. In my quite times God has been bombarding me with his love and the scripture that speaks his love to me. I want to share with you my journal from this morning. I pray that God's love will dig into your heart!

"You have stolen my heart, my sister, my bride; you have stolen my heart with one glance of your eyes, with one jewel of your necklace." Song of Songs 4:9

Lord, your words are so beautiful. God you eloquently describe and portray your love for me in a way that I have never known. Jesus, I am beginning to understand the depth of your love. I have never been loved like this and this is just the beginning. Lord, I want you to be the ove of my life, my protector. I wan our love to be more intimate than anything I have ever known! I ask that your love that is shown to me is so evident! I pray that when you are loving me, I would know it is you without a doubt. And Jesus I don't want to keep that love to myself. I want to be so over-flowing with your love that it is passed on to others.

(this is my prayer, let it be yours too)

I love you Lord

and I lift my voice [heart, love]

to worship you

oh my soul, rejoice!

take joy MY KING

in what you hear

may it be a sweet sound

in your ear.

Amen

Encouraged

It was another busy, but fun, weekend as usual. I went to my mom's Mother Daughter Brunch at her church. It was great to see my mom so happy and proud to be there with her daughter and I know the weekend meant so much to her. There was a guest singer there, Ken Strong, who shared some music and a little bit of his testimony. I was totally encouraged just from listening to his music that praised Jesus and to hear part of his testimony. He talked about how he struggles with being single and that he has gone through times when he is upset with God about it. It was encouraging to know that I am not the only one that struggles with that. At the same time, I was encouraged to see him praise a LIVING GOD as a real person.

So many times we try to put up a front that we are alright. I know I do this a lot because I don't want people to see the real me. Well, it never fails that God will ask me to share a testimony - talking to youth, asking for prayer, falling face down at the feet of Jesus and spilling out my life. And God did just that at youth group Sunday night.

Our youth are studying tea book of John and I was privileged to teach John 11 Sunday night. If you don't' know that chapter, it is when Jesus raised Lazarus from tea dead. I hit the message hard by asking, "how does it feel when someone close to you dies? Why is it so hard when someone dies?" I had tea kids write down their answers. We shared and again I was encouraged. Before me sat 13 teenagers and 2 adults. They shared some tough feelings and some very personal thoughts. It was encouraging because they didn't hold back. They put themselves out there to be real.

As we discussed John 11 I had the kids answer another question, "How do you feel knowing that Jesus died for you?" The answers were rather different than the other questions. This question brought excitement and happiness to the kids. Why shouldn't it? Jesus made it possible for us to spend eternity with him. However, WE are tea reason that he had to suffer. Our sins nailed him to the cross. Our ugliness flogged and ripped his flesh. Our mouths hurled insults at him. But the cool thing is that HIS LOVE saves us from what we deserve.

I was totally encouraged by the lesson. I know that the words were meant for me to hear too. Jesus loves us and wants to show himself to us. We need to look for him in the big things and tea little things. We need to expect GOD-sized things to happen and not be disappointed when the little things don't happen. Mary and Martha were angry that Jesus didn't come to Lazarus right away and heal a sick man. Jesus waited to raise a dead man. That is something that is encouraging.

So many times I ask for things and wait and wait and wait yet nothing ever seems to happen. Maybe Jesus wants to do something bigger than I have asked. How encouraging is that - Jesus wants to "WOW" me! The questions is, do I want to be wowed by Jesus? I think I do ............................................... do you?

Hungry

I sang in the worship band at church yesterday. It was great as always, but God totally kicked me square in the hind parts during one particular song. What I am about to share is totally from the Lord and it was an amazing experience (once I quit arguing with him) to share this at church yesterday.

I was singing the song Hungry. The chorus goes like this: "I'm falling on my knees, offering all of me. Jesus, you're all this heart is longing for." The Lord totally spoke straight to my heart about Mary Magdelene washing the feet of Jesus with expensive perfume and wiping his feet with her hair.

"Then Mary to about a pint of pure nard, an expensive perfume; she poured it on Jesus' feeet and wiped his feet with her hair. And the house was filled with the fragrance of the perfume." John 12:3

I kept hearing God telling me to share this, but in my stubborness I ignored him. It got to the point that I could barely focus on the words I was singing - this is a song I have led countless times too! We came to an instrumental break and I picked up some shakers to play. Well, in the most audible voice I heard, "Do not ignore me right now!" I listened. I picked up my Bible and told my friend, Tomir, to keep playing. I had a scripture to share.

I searched for the scripture, not knowing exactly where it was, and finally found it. What happened next was totally the Holy Spirit speaking through me. I know this only because it spoke directly to my heart and that just doesn't happen on a person's own account. This is what I learned through the scripture:

We NEED to bring everything to the feet of Jesus. We need to bring our most prized posessions and pour them on the feet of Jesus, regardless of what everyone else will think of us. Jesus deserves our everything. We need to touch him with our tangled messes. More than anything, we need to humble ourselves before the Lord every day, and understand that we are not capable of being in charge.

I leave you with this thought. Will you put yourself at the feet of Jesus? Are you willing to give him the good, bad, and ugly? Will you let him have all of you?

In Christ, Dina

Passion

(I actually journaled this post on April 14, 2006 )

passion: 1 a strong emotion, as hate, love, etc. 2 an object of strong emotion

I just finshed watching The Passion of the Christ, the movie written and directed by Mel Gibson. My church, Red Zone Christian Church, showed it tonight. As I was viewing this movie for the third time, I had a strong desire to understand the true passion that Christ reveiled in his final hours before enduring the cross.

So many times, to talk about passion might come from watching a movie with an intense love story (The Notebook comes to mind). It may involve a mighty, heart-wrenching battle (Braveheart, Lord of the Rings). It may also be an intense sports story where the underdog makes for an amazing "Cinderella story" (Rudy, Glory Road). I have even heard a husband or wife speak with passion about his/her spouse. We see demonstrations on the evening news where people are "passionate" supporting or protesting the latest political news. But, none of these seemed to compare to the true passion that Jesus Christ showed the world almost 2000 years ago.

Being a young christian (I began my personal relationship with Jesus 8 years ago), I found myself still wondering, "God, wasn't there any other way to save sinners?" I have read the accounts of Jesus' last week, last hours, his ministry and have never been impacted the way I was tonight. Seeing the Savior of my soul beaten, spat on, whipped, flogged, mocked, hated, and finally crucified made me realize just how ugly sin is! My stomach is still churning as I write this and begin to understand, more, the true passion of Jesus.

In Luke 22:44 it says, "And being in anguish, he prayed more earnestly, and his sweat was like drops of blood falling to the ground." Jesus prayed to God that if there was any other way to save the world to please do it. BUT, more than that, Jesus wanted to submit to the will of his Father. His prayer was so intense that some commentaries will say blood dripped from him due to the level of stress and spiritual warfare that was going on. Jesus sweat blood for me and you! My prayers rarely bring a tear to my eye (and I'm emotional)! Why don't we pray with a passion for the Lord? He is our example and he prayed with a PASSION for each and every one of us. Don't we owe it to God, our Creator, to pray with passion and believe that he is the great I AM?

I look at the definitions of passion (at the beginning of this post) and realize two things. #1 - I need to have a passion for serving Christ and loving others. At the same time, I need to passionately hate satan and be aware of his schemes. #2 - I need to make Jesus, his word, walking in the Spirit my daily passion. How can this be done? I ask myself this and know that i will fail - no matter how much I desire these things for my life, I will fail at times . . . Why? . . . Because I am a sinner and I am selfish.

BUT (this is the great part) Jesus paid my price. And more than that, He came back to life. HE IS ALIVE! And Jesus is seated with God in Heaven waiting for us to come home. If I confess daily and make a choice to follow him and ask for his forgiveness, His blood makes me clean in the eyes of God. Romans 10:9 says, "If you confess with your mouth, 'Jesus is Lord,' and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." We can eat at the Master's table for eternity!

If you are reading this and want to know more about the passion that I am talking about, read the book of John in the Bible. If that doesn't cut it or you don't have a Bible, visit www.therz.com. There is some great material there about what it means to be a christian. If you are reading this and realizing that you are lacking in your walk with Christ, I challenge you to ask yourself, "What am I passionate about? What is my passion?" If you aren't in line with Jesus, you need to do some serious re-evaluating.

Jesus is ready for you! He desires you more than a love story, battle, or winning a game. He wants you to be HIS Cinderella story! Will you let it happen?

I'm back. . .

After slightly ignoring God (okay since my last post) and fighting with my computer, I am back. God and I have had some great chats over the last few months about what it means to be a servant: both to others and of God. A busy schedule is not an excuse, and I have tried to make that my excuse as to why my blog hasn't been updated. There is simply no other reason beyond the fact that I have withheld sharing all that God has placed on my heart to share. So, my next few posts will be some "catching up" on the things God pushed me to share and I ignored (at least the sharing part). The post that is titled "Passion" will be most recent and I will update from there. My sincerest appologies to you all, but most of all to God for being selfish.

I hope you all have a blessed day and grow closer to the Lord Jesus Christ!

He Provides

Some of you know that I have been really struggling in my walk lately. I met with my Bible study of high school girls last Friday and it was wonderful just to spend time with them and hear all that God has been doing in their lives. Then, it seemed that we wouldn't be able to meet on our normal night due to schedules. Well, we ended up meeting (just a few of us). I love my girls because God uses them to reach right into my heart. We hung out and talked and had an amazing prayer time together. In the midst of that prayer time I felt so free to be real and just let my emotions pour out of me - all of the sadness and anger and frustrations and questions and happiness - and it felt SUPER good. I never imagined, 2 and a 1/2 years ago, that God would use these girls to touch my life the way HE has.

Also, today, my very best and dearest friend arrived home from a 2 year mission in Zimbabwe. I am ever grateful to our LORD that he has provided me with such a wonderful friend. I just want to praise Him for the love that he has provided this week - HE knew I needed it.

"And God will generously provide all you need. Then you will always have everything you need and plenty left over to share with others." (2 Cor. 9:8)

Yesterday, Today, and FOREVER

I was listening to The Heart of Worship on PULSE this morning and heard the song, Yesterday, Today, and Forever. They had a short interview with the artist telling why she wrote the song. She had come across Hebrews 13:8 "Jesus Christ is the same yesterday and today and forever." How cool is that!!!!? No matter what we go through - good or bad or so so - Jesus NEVER changes. It was just something cool that I learned this morning and wanted to share with you all.

Now, I just need to be real (and for those of you that know me, I love to be real). I haven't been obedient lately. God totally put it on my heart to do this blog, and I have ignored him. He has been speaking a lot of things to me to share, but I havent' really felt like it. I have been going through a kind of "self-pity/selfish" stage lately. I just kept asking "why do I need to keep putting myself out there in ministry? why do I have to be a listener? Why can't I just have soemone to listen to me?" And God said, "Because that is not what I want for you right now!" Well, despite all the struggles, some super cool things have been going on. Basketball season is underway (I coach 8th girls). I have had opportunities to share the Gospel and just be a light for some pretty awesome kids. I get to spend lots of time with my dad and live a Jesus life around him as s testimony. I am youth sponsor who is blessed with working with 15-20 FABULOUS young peeps every week. I have gotten to share some amazing scripture with a friend who is going through a separation and divorce (even share some of my testimony).

Through all of this I am constantly asking God, "Why me? Why do I get to be in ministry when I am so selfish?" All I know is that God designed me to be this way. He knew me at the beginning of time. He knew that Dina C. would be a blunt, in-your-face person, he knew that my heart wants to serve him despite all the blemishes that may surface.

People, God is talking - ALL OF THE TIME. He never changes! He wants us to be like his son. and the coolest thing is that once you accept Jesus as your Lord and Savior, you look just like Jesus in God's eyes, because you are covered in blood and made as white as can be.

Listen, I bet God is telling you something. And remember Jesus is the same YESTERDAY, TODAY, AND FOREVER.

Christ is EVERYTHING

Colossians 1:9-14 "For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you and asking God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all spiritual wisdom and understanding. And we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience, and joyfully giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light. For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kindgom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins."

I started reading this book yesterday. My Bible has these great intros for all the books of the Bible. The intro for Colossians caught my attention because the subtitle said "What more could we possibly need?" That really got me thinking - what more do I need? Why do I always want more stuff? Why don't I continually long for MORE of Jesus - the author and perfector of life? I have only been through one chapter of this book, but it is a great reminder that Christ IS and MUST BE my everything. John 15:5 says "I am the vine; you are the branches. If a man remains in me and I in him, he will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing." That has become so very true to me. Yes, God has blessed me with many friends and mentors and people to relate to, but they are nothing without my personal relationship with Jesus. If I can't be in a relationship with the one who created me, how can I relate to others and show the love of Jesus to them?

If I have learned anything since starting this blog, it is that I am nothing without Jesus in my life. Yes I will still exsist, but my life has NO meaning. Jesus perfects me, I cannot do this life on my own (even though I try really hard).

I encourage you to read Colossians - to remind yourself that Christ is EVERYTHING and nothing less than that.

Love to all, Dina

Dependency

This week has been so good. Monday night I was blessed in conversation with a very dear friend and someone I would call a mentor, Cindi. I was sharing some of the work the Lord has been doing through me, some things that I felt led to share with her. We then talked about dependency. While talking with Cindi, the Lord totally opened my eyes to how much I was depending on people for my spiritual needs. Yes, I was seeking out the Lord. BUT I was not seeking him first always. For someone such as myself, a pretty friendly person, to learn this was so hard. I realized that I needed to begin detaching myself from some very close friends. This is not for any reason beyond the fact that I must put God first in everything and that I have to trust him with my life.

I hadn't written in my journal for a while because I was just trying to sort things out in my mind. That is usually the time that God gives me, what I like to call, a spiritual butt-kicking. I started my journaling with the following verses:

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 "Make it your ambition to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."


That could have been very hard to take, but it wasn't. Through some events of this week, God had totally prepared my heart to hear this. A close friend of mine lost his dad in a freak accident - totally unexpected. It made me realize that we do not know when we will take our last breath. Each day that we live is a blessing, a gift, from God. I could have taken the conversation with Cindi and been angry at God. Instead I learned some amazing things through that lesson and have been very focused on my relationship with God. I ended my quiet time, writing in my journal time, with this prayer: God, I want to be totally dependent on YOU. You are all I want! I love you so much and desire to serve YOU. Thank you!

God works in ways that cannot be explained and I am learning to be okay with that. It isn't always easy, but I get to chose how I respond to lessons. Dependency is only okay when it is being dependent on God for everything. What are you most dependent on? I encourage you to think about it and make changes. Today could be your last day!

In Christ's love, Dina

It's OK to have a bad day

I was hangin with a friend from college tonight - it was a blessing! She has been going through some tough stuff and it was so good to talk to her. The most encouraging part of her bad stuff is that her relationship with Jesus has sky-rocketed! It made me think of James 1:2-3 "Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance." I thought of how many bad days I've had (lately, it's been what seems like a lot) and how I reacted to those bad days. I can either consider it "pure joy" or I can be angry at the world. Most of the time I end up yelling at God, sometimes in my journal or sometimes literally yelling, and breaking down in tears. There have been days when I thank God for my bad day and use the angry energy as fuel for prayer or a quiet time or just to be still and listen for the sweet voice of Jesus to comfort me. I wish I could say that I always react this way, but I am human and I don't. I would be a liar to say that I always react the right way.

I recently read 2 Corinthians 12:1-10 and it opened my eyes to God so much. I encourage you to read it. I want to share vs. 7-9 with you. "To keep me from becoming conceited because of these surpassingly great revelations, there was given me a thorn in my flesh, a messenger of Satan, to torment me. Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, 'My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in [your] weakness.' Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ's power may rest on me."

I encourage you, the next time you have a bad day, to consider how you will deal with it. You can blow up and be angry at the world OR you can consider it a growing pain that will bring you one step closer to Jesus.

Blessings to you all, Dina

God is talking

I'm not really sure why I felt like posting this. I guess the Lord has just really had it on my heart to share my life and Jesus with people. (Especially in the last 5 days). I have been through the wringer in the last 10 days. It has been amazing because the Lord has totally opened my eyes to the battle that is constantly going on - a battle for souls! I just want to share with everyone and I have no idea how regular this will be. I do know that it will be guided by Jesus and that I want to use the internet, something with so much sin, to share the Gospel of Jesus. So, I leave you with this:

"For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his [God's] love for thsoe who fear him; as far as the east is from the west, so far has he removed our transgressions from us. As a father has compassion on his children, so the LORD has compassion on those who fear him; for he knows how we are formed, he remembers that we are dust." psalm 103:11-12

"I praise you [God] because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well." psalm 139:14

God created each of us in HIS image just as we are. If you don't know what I am talking about and want to, just leave me a comment!