Thursday, December 01, 2005

Dependency

This week has been so good. Monday night I was blessed in conversation with a very dear friend and someone I would call a mentor, Cindi. I was sharing some of the work the Lord has been doing through me, some things that I felt led to share with her. We then talked about dependency. While talking with Cindi, the Lord totally opened my eyes to how much I was depending on people for my spiritual needs. Yes, I was seeking out the Lord. BUT I was not seeking him first always. For someone such as myself, a pretty friendly person, to learn this was so hard. I realized that I needed to begin detaching myself from some very close friends. This is not for any reason beyond the fact that I must put God first in everything and that I have to trust him with my life.

I hadn't written in my journal for a while because I was just trying to sort things out in my mind. That is usually the time that God gives me, what I like to call, a spiritual butt-kicking. I started my journaling with the following verses:

1 Thessalonians 4:11-12 "Make it your ambition to mind your own business and to work with your hands, just as we told you, so that your daily life may win the respect of outsiders and so that you will not be dependent on anybody."


That could have been very hard to take, but it wasn't. Through some events of this week, God had totally prepared my heart to hear this. A close friend of mine lost his dad in a freak accident - totally unexpected. It made me realize that we do not know when we will take our last breath. Each day that we live is a blessing, a gift, from God. I could have taken the conversation with Cindi and been angry at God. Instead I learned some amazing things through that lesson and have been very focused on my relationship with God. I ended my quiet time, writing in my journal time, with this prayer: God, I want to be totally dependent on YOU. You are all I want! I love you so much and desire to serve YOU. Thank you!

God works in ways that cannot be explained and I am learning to be okay with that. It isn't always easy, but I get to chose how I respond to lessons. Dependency is only okay when it is being dependent on God for everything. What are you most dependent on? I encourage you to think about it and make changes. Today could be your last day!

In Christ's love, Dina

2 comments:

jenn said...

"I must put God first in everything and that I have to trust him with my life."

"God works in ways that cannot be explained and I am learning to be okay with that."

two very powerful statements. i have been thinking about that lately...and just question how i will know when i really reach that stage..to be able to completely put God first in everything, trust him completely with my life, and completely be okay with the unexplainable. but i do strive to reach that stage.

with our nature to control, plan, worry, do you think we as humans will ever be able to reach that stage completely? honestly, sometimes, i just feel insufficient.

love ya lots!

Nichole said...

hey dina. I read this and totally stepped back. It is crazy how dependant we can become on people and things, and how easily it comes. also how quickly i can become less dependant on Christ the more time i am with others. You really got me thinkin'. Thanks I needed a good kick in the butt and between you and church on sunday I got one.

nichole