Frustration

I have been frustrated lately. It has taken me a while to write about this too because I don't want to be venting, but I really want to share some lessons I have learned.

I coach 8th girls' basketball. I love the sport. I love the girls. I love teaching this fabulous sport. My team this year is very talented, but I don't think they fully understand just how talented they are.

They haven't played to their full potential this season. Our record is 6-6 (it should be 10-2 or 11-1). The losses have been huge and the wins have been close (all but 2). I stand on the sidelines of each game wondering if the girls are going to play like they can or if they are going to let another game be lost. The worst part of the whole thing is that it is out of my control.

I do my best to teach them the game, to trouble-shoot during games, and strengthen their skills at practice and in games. I aim to teach them to respect the game of basketball, their teammates, coaches, and opponents. No matter how much I show them, encourage them, or help them, I can't determine what they will do when they step on the court to play a game.

It wasn't until about 2 weeks ago that I went to God for help, in tears and desperate. I pleaded with him to make them play, to get their heads out of their rears, and to do what I know they are capable of. Guess what God said? Nothing . . . . . . . until Monday.

Monday I was at the dentist (a whole other story). I was there quite a while and had plenty of time to myself. So, I tried to be still and relax and converse with God. I got my answer. That answer comes from the book of Mark. A dear friend of mine had sent this to me a few years ago when I was going through a similar situation.

17A man in the crowd answered, "Teacher, I brought you my son, who is possessed by a spirit that has robbed him of speech. 18Whenever it seizes him, it throws him to the ground. He foams at the mouth, gnashes his teeth and becomes rigid. I asked your disciples to drive out the spirit, but they could not."
19"O unbelieving generation," Jesus replied, "how long shall I stay with you? How long shall I put up with you? Bring the boy to me." -Mark 9:17-19

Jesus got so frustrated with his disciples. They had seen miracle after miracle and still didn't have the faith to do the work that God had prepared them for. Here were 12 guys that had been closer to Jesus than anyone. They had shared in very intimate parts of Jesus' life, seen miracles, witnessed supernatural occurences and still lacked.

Then I thought, how many times has God been frustrated with me? How many times have I not doen what I am capable of with God as my coach? The answer.......too many. I am sure that God has been frustrated with me when I am not honest about my relationship with him, when I don't stand up for him, when I pass up an opportunity to share my faith with an unbeliever. God can't play the game for me anymore than I can play for my girls.

So, what have I done. Well, I am trying to be more positive. I am trying to trust my girls. I am going at each day of bball with a fresh attitude that I am doing my best as a coach.

I want to encourage you if you are frustrated to stop, pray, and want to understand why you are frustrated. Is it because God doesn't care or because you don't care?

Beauty

Have you ever sat back and been in awe of God? I mean, really been in awe?

This happened to me today. We have been completely blasted with snow over the past 2 days. Unofficial reports say that Syracuse got 8.5-10 inches of snow! That is a lot of snow! I looked out my bathroom window this morning and I couldn't even see the driveway. It was unreal. School had gotten cancelled, so I went back to bed.

Backing up . . . yesterday I was home all day as was my roomie. Once we both found out we didn't have to work today she looked at me and said, "Guess what we should do tomorrow since we don't have to work?" I replied, "Uh, shovel the driveway." Jenn said, "Oh, that too. But I was thinking that we should play in the snow."

So, that is just what we did today! It was wonderful and not really too cold. The wonderful Amos (Jenn's bro-in-law) snowblowed our driveway. Jenn and I shoveled the sidewalk and porch. Then the fun began. We made snow angels, threw snow balls, and Jenn attempted to snowboard in the yard (with no success). She got stuck. I hauled her and board over my shoulder and carried them up the driveway. She boarded down the driveway (twice) and I hauled her up. Then we went for a walk down our street.

The snow was AMAZING! I found myself wondering once again if that snow was dropped just to remind me of the BIG God that I serve. I thought of Chris Tomlin's song, Indescribable. The lyrics say, "Who has told every lightning bolt where it should go? Or seen heavenly storehouses laden with snow?" That is one big God!

I have been down in the dumps alot lately - in my spiritual walk. I feel disconected, uncertain, and lonely. Reading my Bible has not been a high priority, just enough to keep up with the reading that I am doing for Bible study. I haven't felt or seen God's beauty in much of anything.

Thank you Jesus for the snow. Thank you for snowing me in with a great roomie. Thanks for the break to be a lazy bum at home yesterday and enjoy the beautiful roomie that you have blessed me with. Thank you for the snow. Thank you for the moments today to see how BIG you really are. Thank you more than anything for always making yourself known in my life. You are truly a beautiful God.

Here are some snow pictures:1. Jenn snowboarding. 2. the beginning of a snow angel. 3. snow angel. 4. snow friends