Tuesday, October 16, 2007

Finding Peace

So, I realize that I haven't finished the second part of my summer (and my roomie is waiting for my next post). Let me preface this by saying that God is so good and he knows exactly what we need and exactly when we need it.

My summer ended with me ready to move on in my church life. I adored the church that I was attending, but it wasn't meeting my needs as a 27-year-old single person. I have known for the last year that I needed to find a group of young adults to get involved with, but I kept putting it off for various reasons. One major reason was guilt, not conviction, guilt. I realized that this guilt was satan's way of fighting against what God was trying to teach me and where God was trying to lead me. No one at my previous church did anything to make me "feel" guilty, it was just satan warping my mind.

The first big step I took this summer was stepping down as a youth leader at my previous church. I love youth ministry, I love my kids, but I was spreading myself too thin and loosing sight of Jesus. It was a tough decision....probably one of the hardest decisions I've had to make for a while. It wasn't too bad though. I had two of my mentors, Tim and Kim, in prayer for me and I knew that they were praying for God's will to be done.

The second big step that I took was to church shop. I like this term for several reasons. I looked at it like grocery shopping: when you grocery shop you go to the store looking for what you need. That is what I did. I looked for a church that had a young adult group, a youth ministry that I may get involved with, a consistent pastor, music (God speaks to me this way), and a vision to grow God's church and not just their congregation.

I visited a few new churches and revisited some churches I had been to before. It didn't take long. I am now attending the NWUMC and I love it! I look forward to going to church, worshipping, meeting new faces, and being part of something. There are opportunities to get involved, but I am waiting on God's lead. I have had several confirmations that this is where I belong...for now...and I feel totally at peace.

Yes, leaving the familiarity of Red Zone was tough. Yes, there were times when I really doubted that decisions. Yes, it was hard to look at people and know that they may be hurt or confused about my decision. BUT God kept me at peace. I had to focus on HIM to get me through. I had to constantly seek HIM out and follow his lead. And, you know what? It worked.

Isaiah 26:3 You [God] will keep in perfect peace him whose mind is steadfast, because he trusts in you [God].

This verse became real to me this summer. It is still very real to me. I cannot imagine what would be happening in my life if I din't focus on the Lord. WHere would I be? Would I get to experience the perfect peace that Isaiah talks about? I don't know. What I do know is that I am experiencing peace and I don't want to be anyhwere else.