Hmmmm......

It's Saturday afternoon....2:10pm.....I'm still in my pj's. I've been up for 4 hours. There is a movie on, laundry going, and a computer on my lap.

I've been catching up on my blog reading and a thought popped into my head. I can spend HOURS reading blogs, "stalking" peeps on facebook, searching sports news, emailing, and just wasting time on the internet.

I LOVE to read. I'm finishing the Chronicles of Narnia, reading through some professional books, and catching up on everything listed above. But, one thing I don't read much is my Bible.

Why is that? Why is it I can spend so much time, hours sometimes, reading everything but the ONE thing we need to read? I'm not doggin reading other stuff, but God's word is the "instruction manual" it is the book that can answer everything. There are lessons to be learned, people I can relate to. And amazing accounts of some incredible things that have happened. Sounds so interesting, but I can't manage to read it with the excitement that I read other things.

I go through phases whre I can't get enough of the Word, but they fade and I notice that tons of time has passed since I last picked it up. I'm in that place right now. It's a tough place to be too. So much of me wants to want to read my Bible. I just find that I fill my time with other things.

Hmmmm......have you ever found yourself in this position?

And the Rains Came Down

I'm looking out my window and the rain is coming down. I love where my desk is in my house. It is right under a window that looks out the front side of my house. And, I love to see what's going on outside.

So, the rain is coming down again.....more rain.....dreary day......more water......not really pleased with this. However, it made me think of Noah. I couldn't tell you the last time I read the account of Noah and The Flood in Genesis. Heck, I can't even tell you the chapter that it is in. But, I can tell you all about it.

God was honked-off at creation. Nothing was going "right" and creation was a mess. All of creation except for Noah. God found favor with him and gave him a huge task - a God size task. "Noah, I want you to build an ark exactly like these blueprints and I want you to get 2 of everything to take on the ark. Take your family. And when you get everyone/everything on board, don't come out until I tell you. There's gonna be a whole lotta rain." Then it rains for 40 days and nights and the whole time Noah is stuck on a boat with his family, a crap-ton of animals (and animal crap), and there is nowhere to go! Finally the rains stop, the earth dries up, and God gives the go-ahead to get off the boat.

Why am I writing about this? Because we ALL need the rains to come down. I love to walk outside after it rains. It smells amazing. Everything is green and wet and healthy. Rains bring life back into creation. We need the rain.

Lately, I have been wrapped up in the dreariness of the rain of my life. I am tired and have just found myself focusing way too much on the negative. The rain outside has reminded me that we need to have it! The rain is going to come down in our lives and outside. There is no avoiding it. It is part of living. BUT...................wait for it.............................when the rain goes away, we are refreshed. We are given a little life. We are brighter. We are healthy. We are cleansed.

Jesus, thank you for the rain. Thank you for the rain outside and thank you for the rain in my life. I want to be joyful always and focus on what you are trying to do when the rain comes down. Help to clean me, brighten me, and breathe more life into me. You are amazing!

The account of Noah is based on the brain of Dina. If you want to read God's version of the account, check out Genesis 6-8. It's super great!

GLOW

Hey everyone! I know I have posted something about this before, but there is a great blog you should start reading (if you haven't already). Click on the link to the left that says GLOW....it is a blog that I do with 4 other women. We are getting a ministry up and going at our church (actually Shannon and Kristi do the brunt work, I just like the ride). GLOW stands for God Loving Ordinary Women. The blog is just us sharing what God is doing in our lives and how He is working. Also, we have started doing some give-aways at random.

These women are pretty amazing. If you know me at all, you know I don't settle when it comes to ministry. I am blessed by this ministry and these girls. I hope you are too!

New Goals

This is about to get very personal. I share a lot about myself with people, but somethings I keep to myself or share with a few. The Lord has been working on me this weekend to share my new goals - I don't know if it is to encourage, to be held accountable, or step out of my comfort zone. Regardless, He has asked me to share so here goes!

I have struggled with weight loss FOREVER!!! I have tried calorie counting, food logs, workouts, detox "diets", biking, eating different, going to the doctor.....everything that I can do and not go insane (and I have been insane a few times along the way). However, nothing seems to work. I'm not wanting to be 115 pounds or be a gym-going psycho. I just want to lose some weight. I have cried, cussed, hid, hated, raged, and wallowed over this struggle SO MUCH in the past year and a half. I have been working with a trainer since March of '08, I have completely changed my diet (much more balanced), I have gone to the doctor and had tests done. Results: still weigh exactly what I did in March of '08, my doctor says I'm one of the healthiest patients that he has (just overweight), I eat pretty well 95% of the time.

3 months ago, after stepping on a scale to see no change, I kinda just stopped paying attention to my weight....went numb to it. At first, I got really angry. The kind of angry that makes me cry and shut down. Then the numbness settled in. I kept exercising, eating well, and went to the doctor. Last Friday, August 1, I stepped on a scale for the first time. I had noticed that my clothes were fitting a little differently (in a good way). Several people asked if I had lost weight. I honestly didn't know. So, stepped on the scale and ................................................ still weigh the same! But, this time I wasn't angry. I wasn't sad. I wasn't numb. It was okay.

I know how I treat my body. I know what goes in (and comes out). I know how I love to be active and AM active. I know that I am trying. I know that changes aren't going to happen over night. I know that I am driven, I mean DRIVEN, by goals and rules. So I set some goals with help from a friend.

1. I started running. I HATE RUNNING, but I'm running! I needed some motivation, so I bought new tennis shoes. And I made a rule that I can only wear them, for the next year, if I am going to run. If you know me, you know that this is probably the BEST motivation for me.

2. I decided that I want to lose 40 pounds by the time school gets out in June. That is 40 pounds in 10 months. It is totally reasonable.....only 4 pounds per month.

3. I want to shop for clothes that are not plus size. I'm not trying to be a size 6, 8, or even 10. I just want to shop in the Misses' sizes, not the Women's sizes.

4. I want to work up to running around Syracuse Lake by next summer. That is 5 miles. And I want to RUN the whole thing.

5. I want to wear the Manchester England Soccer Jersey that my best friend's family got me 10 years ago (I have never fit in it).

6. I want to go see the internist and have the last of medical testing done.

Those are my goals. I know that I can do it. I know that God will help me do this. He has given me a heart that longs to live for him and honor him. Thanks for reading. I didn't write this to gain pity or compliments. I know I am not the only person who struggles with this. I wanted to share. And God has been pushing me to share this part of me. I'm trying to listen and DO what he is asking of me....just a little bit better this year.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

Not How I Had It Planned

Sometimes I am honked at the way Jesus doesn't do what I want! I pray and he does it differently than I asked! I expect him to use me in one way and He chooses something different! I have a fantastic 5 or 10 year plan, and his is nowhere near the same as mine!

And for all those times, I am blessed.

I was reading through some old journals and came across one from my senior year of high school (11 years ago). I was "planning" where I would be in 10 years. Here is what I wrote: In 10 years I plan on being married, having at least 2 kids, teaching with a Masters Degree, living in a 2 story house in the country, being involved in a church close to home (where my parents are). I seriously laughed when I read that. That was the honest plan that I had for myself.

Let me tell you where I am 11 years after I graduated. I just bought a house - by myself. I teach 5th grade. I am single. I have no kids. I am involved in a church. I struggle most days to see myself through Jesus' eyes because I haven't lived up to what I had planned for myself.

BUT............................

I am blessed! I am blessed with my own home to open up to those that I love. I am blessed with a job where I get to live out my love for Jesus and teach some of the coolest 10 and 11-year-olds on the face of the planet. I am blessed with an awesome family that has supported everything I have done (even when they don't always agree) for 29 years. I am blessed with a network of friends who encourage me, love me, and pray for me at the drop of a pin. I am blessed by a church family that spurs me on in my relationship with Jesus Christ.

I am blessed to be a child of God who doesn't do things my way. His plans are SO MUCH BETTER than any 5, 10, or 50 year plan I could ever write for myself. My life is not what I had planned, it is better. Yes I have dreams and desires, but I am learning to trust that God knows my heart, he hears my cries, and HIS 5 YEAR PLAN IS BEYOND ANYTHING I COULD DREAM OF.

Jeremiah 29:11 "'For I know the plans I have for you,' declares the Lord. 'Plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'"

My 5th graders

My House

5th grade teachers

Friends