Tuesday, August 04, 2009

New Goals

This is about to get very personal. I share a lot about myself with people, but somethings I keep to myself or share with a few. The Lord has been working on me this weekend to share my new goals - I don't know if it is to encourage, to be held accountable, or step out of my comfort zone. Regardless, He has asked me to share so here goes!

I have struggled with weight loss FOREVER!!! I have tried calorie counting, food logs, workouts, detox "diets", biking, eating different, going to the doctor.....everything that I can do and not go insane (and I have been insane a few times along the way). However, nothing seems to work. I'm not wanting to be 115 pounds or be a gym-going psycho. I just want to lose some weight. I have cried, cussed, hid, hated, raged, and wallowed over this struggle SO MUCH in the past year and a half. I have been working with a trainer since March of '08, I have completely changed my diet (much more balanced), I have gone to the doctor and had tests done. Results: still weigh exactly what I did in March of '08, my doctor says I'm one of the healthiest patients that he has (just overweight), I eat pretty well 95% of the time.

3 months ago, after stepping on a scale to see no change, I kinda just stopped paying attention to my weight....went numb to it. At first, I got really angry. The kind of angry that makes me cry and shut down. Then the numbness settled in. I kept exercising, eating well, and went to the doctor. Last Friday, August 1, I stepped on a scale for the first time. I had noticed that my clothes were fitting a little differently (in a good way). Several people asked if I had lost weight. I honestly didn't know. So, stepped on the scale and ................................................ still weigh the same! But, this time I wasn't angry. I wasn't sad. I wasn't numb. It was okay.

I know how I treat my body. I know what goes in (and comes out). I know how I love to be active and AM active. I know that I am trying. I know that changes aren't going to happen over night. I know that I am driven, I mean DRIVEN, by goals and rules. So I set some goals with help from a friend.

1. I started running. I HATE RUNNING, but I'm running! I needed some motivation, so I bought new tennis shoes. And I made a rule that I can only wear them, for the next year, if I am going to run. If you know me, you know that this is probably the BEST motivation for me.

2. I decided that I want to lose 40 pounds by the time school gets out in June. That is 40 pounds in 10 months. It is totally reasonable.....only 4 pounds per month.

3. I want to shop for clothes that are not plus size. I'm not trying to be a size 6, 8, or even 10. I just want to shop in the Misses' sizes, not the Women's sizes.

4. I want to work up to running around Syracuse Lake by next summer. That is 5 miles. And I want to RUN the whole thing.

5. I want to wear the Manchester England Soccer Jersey that my best friend's family got me 10 years ago (I have never fit in it).

6. I want to go see the internist and have the last of medical testing done.

Those are my goals. I know that I can do it. I know that God will help me do this. He has given me a heart that longs to live for him and honor him. Thanks for reading. I didn't write this to gain pity or compliments. I know I am not the only person who struggles with this. I wanted to share. And God has been pushing me to share this part of me. I'm trying to listen and DO what he is asking of me....just a little bit better this year.

1 Corinthians 6:19-20 "Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body."

5 comments:

Niki said...

Thank you for having the courage to share!! You are inspiring and an awesome girl!

Jess said...

Oh Dina...you are beautiful inside and out and very inspiring!!! I am so proud of you and your faith in God to be successful in your goals!!! Love ya!!!

Kristi said...

Dina- Thank you for sharing such a personal story. I believe absolutely that you can do it because you are not only motivated by a desire to do it, but by a fire God has lit inside of you that burns bright for everyone to see! You go girl!!

Ponz, Lil Ponz, and Real Lil Ponz said...

Deener - I am cheering you on! You go girl! You can do it. Thanks for sharing. You are beautiful - remember that please.

Angela said...

Thanks for sharing! As always, I go back to the day in Philly when you said, very confidently, "Man, I'm beautiful!" I love you! :)