How is it March already?!?!?!

Does anyone else feel this way? I cannot believe that we are well into the 3rd month of the year. I remember being little, waiting for a year to pass so I could celebrate my birthday again (my year went from June-June bc that's when my bday is :) ). Now, I want to stick my feet in the ground sometimes to keep time from going on.

Needless to say, I didn't blog at all in February. Honestly it went by too fast and I am not sure how I made it through the month. It was a rough one....

I have really been working on my relationship with Christ, trying to get deeper into understanding who I am in Christ. It has been SO HARD!!!! When we strive for more intimacy with Christ it honks off the enemy. Satan has been laying things on pretty thick: insecurity, feelings of failure, shut down... I would love to say that I have stood up to him and held firm in my faith, but that would be a lie. I have struggled! I have had meltdowns. I have been ready to just give up! But, my God has held me closer than ever and I am learning so much.

"For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Nothing in all creation is hidden from God’s sight. Everything is uncovered and laid bare before the eyes of him to whom we must give account" Hebrews 4:12-13

This seems to be what I am clinging to. I cannot neglect God when satan attacks (some wise words from my BFF, Karissa). That is the worst thing I can do. It is not comfortable for me to know that God knows EVERYTHING about me. There are some parts of me that I would like to hide forever and have tried to hide for a long time. God has decided to pull those things to the surface, get me to work through them, and move me on into more intimacy with him.

It is not easy, but I am encouraged. I am incredibly vulnerable right now and more emotional than every before. I think that is good. When my emotions are connected, I am growing. That is how God made me. Having bare emotions means that I am very receptive to God's work and that is AWESOME! There have been several people who have spoken some deep truths into my heart. Until these past few weeks, I would not have been able to receive those truths. For this I am grateful.

I leave you with the following verse. I encourage you (and myself), that we are not expected to go through trials alone. We don't have to...

"For we do not have a high priest who is unable to empathize with our weaknesses, but we have one who has been tempted in every way, just as we are—yet he did not sin. Let us then approach God’s throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need." Hebrews 4:15-16

Much love to you!