Sunday, June 24, 2012

The End is Near

I have 4 weeks, a month break, and one semester to go in grad school!  I am so excited and anxious to be done.  It is hard to be a student at the age of 32.  It is hard to say no to fun things.  It is hard to stare at a computer screen 3-6 hours each day.  It is hard to read articles and textbooks that I don't always understand.  It is hard to know exactly how each professor wants you to post, write, and reply.  It is hard to keep everything straight in my brain.  It is hard NOT to procrastinate.

But, I am honestly loving this season of learning.  For those of you who may not know I have big plans professionally....I want to be a college professor and teach future teachers.  In order to do that I must go back and refine my learning and teaching.  I keep this in mind when I don't want to work, when I would rather read a good novel or play with my friends, or lay in the sun ALL DAY.  I have already tried many new things in my classroom and hope to do even more this next school year.  My students loved helping me with college work!  They were always excited when the FlipCamera came out, when I would interview them, or when I would show them my online "classroom".

Did I mention that it has been hard?  It really has.

I am grateful though.  I am grateful that I have the ability to learn.  I am grateful for students and parents that have shared some personal things with me for grad work.  I am grateful for a summer that allows me to get 4 classes done.  I am grateful for friends and family that have been a phenomenal support group: encouraging me to press on, listening when I need to gripe, reminding me to step away from work for fun, and showing a genuine interest in what I am learning.

One of my goals this year is to finish grad school with a 4.0.  I am still on track :)  I am not going to be upset if I don't, as long as I know that I put my best work out there.  And I know that this is an attainable goal.

But (the point of this entire post) I really got to thinking about this goal today during church.  A segment of the sermon was performance living vs. promise living.  It made me think, "Why am I aiming so high for grad school?  Is it for me?  for God?  Do I expect something in return?"  I don't really have an answer, but it is definitely making me think.  I like to push myself, I like a challenge.  This is me pushing myself.  I don't want to settle and know that I didn't do my best at anything. 

This is not the only area that I need to evaluate my motivation.  I challenge you to ask yourself the same question, "Are you performance living or promise living?"  God's promises are good!  I need to let this resonate in my soul.

2 comments:

Angela Deak said...

**Gave me goosebumps**

I love that you are dedicated... in many aspects of your life. We all understand when you say "no" it is only for now. I can't wait until you can say "yes" to more things!

Keep on keepin' on, my friend <3

Dina said...

You are precious :) Love you!